Life After Death
by Antimatter625
Summary: Mami Tomoe survives her encounter with Charlotte... in a manner.
1. The Fall

_Author's note: Obviously, massive spoilers for Madoka Magica are present, and I in no way own it or Touhou._

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><p><em>I'm not afraid of anything anymore...<em>

She grabbed at her throat, her hands wrapping securely around it. Had it been a dream? The last thing she could remember was staring into the unforgiving, hungry maw. No... she remembered more, though she was already wishing she didn't. She remembered how she had failed Madoka and Sayaka... doomed them with her recklessness. Everything she had wanted had been so close... but then she had lost it all. Even now, the gnawing, chewing, tearing noises echoed in her ears

No... it must have been a dream... a nightmare. How else could she have hands to grab her throat? A sweltering heat surrounded her, making even basic thoughts sluggish and overwhelming. She opened her eyes... eyes she had thought would never see light again. Suddenly she wished that she was still in that nightmare, for she recognized her surroundings almost immediately. The flames illuminating her surroundings removed all doubt...

She was in hell.

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><p><em><span><strong>The Hell of Blazing Fires<strong>_

"Yeah, yeah, I'll getcha some more corpses, so calm down. Not like you even _need_ them to keep the temperature up anymore, with your power."

"Hey, I still get hungry too, you know." The hell raven was currently channeling Yatagarasu and sporting the nuclear armaments that indicated such... the long control rod on her arm the most obvious such effect.

"Oh! I thought you meant for fuel. I'll be back in a snap, then!" The hyperactive cat darted off. Corpses were never in short supply if you knew where to look. As luck would have it, though, she didn't need to travel far at all. A corpse was right there in the Blazing Hell... it wasn't every day that happened.

Rin Kaenbyou swooped down, and in a swift motion, tossed the blond corpse into her cart before moving on.

"What's going on?" Orin heard an unfamiliar voice and looked for its source.

"Huh? Who's talking?"

"Down here? Where are you taking me?" Sure enough, the corpse in the cart was speaking.

"Eh? Corpses aren't supposed to talk."

"Corpse? I... _am_ dead, then..." The corpse even frowned a bit. If it were alive, Orin would even say it seemed disappointed. But she knew a corpse when she saw one.

"Don't know what else you'd be." Orin looked around, uncertain. "I don't suppose you'd stop moving around so much? You're really doing a very bad job of being a corpse, which is making it hard to carry you."

"What... what's next for me?"

"You really are an odd one. Well, if I had to guess, I'd say you're Okuu's next meal." Orin's comment caused the corpse to suddenly start behaving properly. Probably some spirit that had possessed it had now left or something.

"Well, that was strange." Orin shrugged it off and flew back to Okuu with her meal. Okuu eagerly looked it over. Blond hair styled as twin drills, a short plaid skirt, a plain white top with a red ribbon...

"Wow! You sure were quick, Orin. And she's so fresh, it's almost like she's breathing! And... fresh tears? You're really getting good at this!" Okuu grabbed the corpse's right arm and raised it to her mouth...

"I know! She was even talking a bit ago!"

"Please don't eat me!" Okuu lost her grip on the arm as it jerked back and it's owner called out. No doubt about it now... the body was sobbing.

"Yeah, just like that!"

"Orin, I don't think this corpse is dead yet."

"You know, I was thinking the same thing, earlier. A corpse is a corpse, though."

"I mean, I don't think it's a corpse." Okuu looked at the sobbing girl.

"No, no, it's definitely a corpse! Trust me, I know a corpse when I smell one."

"It does feel like one, but... I... I think we'd better ask Satori before we eat it, though." Okuu looked again at the girl, who looked relieved that she wasn't on the menu any longer, though her tears still spilled forth.

"Fine, but I get the first bite when she says it _is_ alright." Orin said as she flew away, Okuu's reply following her.

"Hey, that's not fair!" The first bite let her choose what she wanted to eat first, and they had very similar tastes.

"Well, back to work then... wait, I never got my meal!" Okuu sighed as she pressed on anyway, disappointed.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>Chireiden<strong>_

"Orin, I've told you before that if they're moving, you need to consult me. I can't believe Okuu showed more sense than you." Satori's tone was level and distant as always.

_She _is_ a corpse, though!_ Orin's reply thought revealed that she had been properly humbled, but she still trusted her senses.

"I suppose her situation is a bit complicated. All the more reason you should have come to me first. Remember, we can't have you trying to keep secrets again... we all know how badly that almost turned out.

_Well, but I got a nice second home from it!_ Orin's thoughts drifted to a lazy scene at the Hakurei shrine.

"And you nearly lost your best friend forever. Never forget that little detail. Now go." Satori dismissed her pet, and Orin skulked away, feeling shamed. Satori wondered how long it would stick this time, but at least she was keeping a closer eye on them now. They shouldn't need to worry about intruders coming to fix problems with the hell again. She turned her attention to the girl Orin had unceremoniously dumped at her feet, and who had now sat up properly, though she still seemed tremendously confused.

"Mami Tomoe-" The shock on the girl's face was an expression Satori would never get tired of. No one ever expected her to know their name.

_What? How does she know my name?_

"That's always the first question, isn't it? And the first answer is always the same as many others. I can read your heart... your soul and its secrets are secret no longer."

_Is... she a Magical Girl then, like that one with wings?_ Mami was off balance here... _Just who is this? What's with her outfit? She sure doesn't look like she should be in hell..._ Mami looked over her new conversation partner. She looked quite comfortable, wearing red slipper along with a pink skirt and blue blouse. Her skin was pale enough that if not for her violet eyes and shoulder length purple hair Mami would swear she was an albino. The oddest feature by far, however, was the odd eye that seemed to hover in front of her chest, supported by six twisting cords that encircled her body.

"Ah, of course. My apologies. I'm Satori Komeiji, master of Chireiden, the palace in which you now find yourself. And no, I'm not a Magical Girl... at least, not one as you know them. I am a youkai; one of a great many living here. Though... it seems you don't know what you truly are..."

"What do you mean?" _She knows about them, but isn't one? Maybe she really is able to look into me... But wait, that girl earlier even had a soul gem! That must be how she knows._

"Okuu isn't either... she, too, is a youkai; a hell raven, to be specific, though her story is rather involved as well. What you thought was her soul gem was actually... well, it's complicated. Let's just say it's a god and leave it at that. As for what you are... well, Orin was right. That body is a corpse and nothing more."

Mami looked over herself. She felt the same as she ever had since the accident... certainly not dead.

"But... I'm still... alive? I thought I was dead." _Is this... all just a nightmare?_

"Oh, rest assured, you're indeed still very much alive, and this is very much real. Well, in any way you'd care about, at least. I must say, it's really very odd hearing someone's heart come from outside of their body." Satori gestured towards a nearby pillow. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable."

Mami sat, her head still reeling. _What is she talking about?_

"I'll demonstrate, but I'll need to see your ring." Satori held out her hand and waited. Mami was wary... Kyubey had said to be very careful with her soul gem... but the more she let its importance be known, the more likely Satori would wish to get it. Mami decided to hand it over... after all, if worse came to worst, she could probably fight to get it back.

Satori took the ring. "I do wish fewer people would turn to violence so readily, but I suppose in your case it's all you know... the reason you're living, you might say." Satori whispered to the ring, but Mami heard the words clearly... then Satori did... something. Mami could tell she was performing some sort of magic, though there was something familiar about how she was using it... it almost seemed like she was using Mami's own magic.

Then the ring's true form as her soul gem revealed itself, though its normally brilliant yellow had faded to a sickly, rotting sort.

"What? But how?" Kyubey had made it clear... the only soul gem a Puella Magi could change like that was her own! _Does that mean... she's me?_

Satori let out a lighthearted laugh. "No... I just have a bit of a knack for mimicry. Though I'm getting the impression this Kyubey seems to have left a few details out of that contract you bound yourself to. I suppose you may have simply missed them, though, what with being nearly dead at the time you made it."

Mami was quickly growing uneasy... it was becoming harder to deny Satori's ability to read Mami's mind. She hadn't even told her closest friends the entire story behind her contract, and she hadn't mentioned anything about Kyubey here at all. _No... Kyubey saved me. I knew what was going on...I just...made a mistake with my wish._

"You knew then, perhaps... but do you know now? Well, I can help answer a bit of that, at least. For starters..." Satori channeled some unfamiliar magic, though Mami easily recognized it as such. She sent a small spike of it at the soul gem, and Mami's world exploded in agony. She felt pain as she had never imagined she could... far worse than when her mangled body had been found by Kyubey.

Almost as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. Mami drew deep breaths as she lay where she had fallen. Across the table, also on the floor, was Satori, clearly in a similar state.

"Didn't... ow. Didn't think it was... that sensitive... urgh." The purple-haired girl grabbed her head and wished it would just stop... aching... already.

"What did you _do_?" Mami was already beginning to recover, and took the opportunity to reclaim her soul gem from Satori's skirt, where it had landed.

"Just... poked you. Lightly."

"You're not a terribly good liar. That wasn't a poke, it wasn't done lightly, and it wasn't even me, it was my soul gem."

"You idiot! You _are_ your 'Soul Gem'" Satori's earlier composure had faded, and the lingering pain she felt wiped away the small amounts of tact she had previously had.

"Wha... What? No, that's not what it-" _is..._

"How can you not even notice when your soul is ripped from your body? What is wrong with you humans? Are you really so out of touch with your spirit? Of course you are..." Satori had managed to collect herself enough to sit back up, but she still hadn't recovered from the shock, while Mami was feeling fine, now. Well, physically, anyway.

_What can she even mean? My soul...? Are they real, then?_

"Look around you! Of course souls are real: you're literally surrounded by them!" Satori swept her arm around, and Mami finally realized that off in the shadows were many small white forms... they really looked like simple wispy clouds, though some bore vestiges of a skeletal face on them. Satori took a deep breath and continued.

"How can I explain this to you? I was being honest when I said I was poking you with magic... I _know_ you felt it. I'm a bit amazed you recovered so suddenly, really. If I'd known it would be so painful, I'd have done so even more lightly." Satori herself seemed to finally be nearly back to herself again.

"But you used magic on my soul gem..."

"And _you_ felt it. If that weren't proof enough, why else would a Kasha mistake you for a corpse? Why else would I hear your heart from within your little trinket? How else could you still be alive after having your head bitten off?" Satori said, staring intently at Mami. The last point seemed to hit hard.

_It... it wasn't a dream... was it? But I'm dead, aren't I?_ "I... I really failed them, didn't I?"

"Madoka and Sayaka? Indeed. Given how you remember that event, they're likely dead now." Mami's heart sank... despair threatened to engulf her.

"But -you- are not. It seems there was a bit of a... mixup, you might say. I can't be sure what happened, but I suspect the taint in your soul confused the system... and when the realm of the 'witch' vanished with you in it, you became lost... stopped being real, so to speak."

_The witch's barrier vanished? Then... that means it was destroyed... it means... they might still be alive!_ Hope surged in Mami's heart.

"What? Of course not. They were right there with you, and the only other one able to fight was bound- by your hand, I remind you- far, far too far away. She would never have made it in time, and they wouldn't have even had _time_ to make the contract you're thinking of."

Mami's heart sank even more. _Why? Why does she insist on destroying my hope..._?

"I'm simply telling you what your own heart is telling me. I don't know what else you'd expect from me. Though it seems your heart is... what _is_ it doing? Hells, it feels like it's eating itself..." Satori was confused, but that quickly turned to disgust... it looked like she was ready to heave. She turned to a black cat that was passing by and whispered something to it.

Mami looked at her soul gem... it was far more tainted than she remembered. Why, though, if she had fallen so quickly? She'd hardly used any magic in that fight. She'd... hardly even gotten the chance.

"Creating a body takes a great deal of magic, I would think."

"Creating... no..." _That's... Well, I've healed my wounds before, but... an entire new body?_

"How many times do I need to repeat this? Your body is just a hollow shell. You rebuilt it with magic. Considering your complete lack of training it's a miracle you managed something like that.

Satori still looked to be struggling with nausea as she looked at Mami, who was gazing into her soul gem as she listened, her eyes growing wet with tears. Satori spoke, as much to distract herself from the nausea as to fulfill her purpose.

"Creating a human body, even for puppetry, is no small feat. They're very complex. Odd, though, that you would be given such a gift with no instruction on how to use it without turning your soul upon itself. Perhaps this Kyubey simply left that bit out to prevent you from going mad with power... a sort of magical block... I've seen other similar things done by masters to their apprentices."

"A gift? What good is it if I can't even help those who need it?" Mami watched as her soul gem seemed to turn darker by the moment... perhaps it was simply reflecting her mood... or perhaps she was more dead than she thought, and the gem was just taking longer to realize it.

"No doubt about it now... You were sent here because your soul is as troubled as the other vengeful spirits that come down here." Satori turned towards the approaching wingbeats. "Oh, thank goodness you're here, Okuu."

Mami looked up at the name, and saw the crow-winged girl she had mistaken for a Magical Girl earlier... the one that had been intent on eating her.

"I suppose you're hungry, then." Mami let out a resigned sigh. Had she escaped being devoured once only for it to happen again? Perhaps her mind was simply hallucinating all this... a clever illusion to ease her way into death.

"What? No, Orin brought me some really delicious-" _bodies. _

"Not now, Okuu." Satori swiped the gem away from Mami, who didn't even react. The gem felt sick and slimy to the touch as a black shadow threatened to envelop it... a far cry from even a few minutes ago. The corruption had grown far too quickly; it must have been engineered to collapse with such speed. To Satori's third eye, the gem was abhorrent to behold. Once Mami's doubt had started to cloud her mind, it had literally begun to gnaw at her being.

_If I can't even protect those near me, what was I hoping to do? Spread hope or justice? Fight the good fight? And I couldn't... when it all came down to it, I failed. I devoted myself to living as a magical girl, and I couldn't even do that?_

"Ready, Okuu?"

_Why even fight? Why even live? _

"Just tell me what you need me to do."

Satori sighed. Apparently that part of the message hadn't been delivered... or more likely, Okuu had forgotten.

_I can't defend the weak. I wanted to have an impact... to matter, but I can't spread peace through fighting... Maybe I just wanted friends..._

"I'll toss this in the air, and I need you to purify it with Yatagarasu's divine flame."

"So... target practice?"

_But fighting is all I know how to do..._

"Close enough. Just make sure it's far enough away. I don't do as well in fire as you." The gem started to throb... It stung now, as though thousands of needles pierced Satori's hand. A human likely wouldn't have felt anything, but the spiritual nature of the gem was having a heavy effect on Satori... already she just wanted to see the thing dealt with. She used magic to heave that vile thing as far away as she could.

_Maybe I'll just have to fight people... _make_ them my fr-_

Mami's body slumped over, and Okuu unleashed the pure heat of a sun, and the light and fire that burned away the sins within the Blazing Hells enveloped the gem...


	2. Isolation

_Author's Note: I'm glad to see people like it or are at least intrigued enough. Part of me worries how true that will remain, but a larger part still has a story to tell, so..._

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><p>Mami felt pain... for the third time in such a short while, a pain greater than she had ever known. It burned... hot enough to burn cloth... hot enough to melt steel, hot enough to scorch stone... and hot enough to purify the wicked.<p>

The terrifying heat... she knew it was hot, but not because her body told her so... no, that distance she had grown accustomed to with her body was gone. Her body wasn't being burned; her soul was. As it burned, she felt the weight of her worries thrown free, caught up in the divine flame and carried away.

_Perhaps this is what I deserve. Pain like that I delivered Madoka and Sayaka to. If my suffering can bring them peace, let me suffer. Madoka was willing to trust in me... I don't want to betray that trust... I didn't... I didn't want to fail. I didn't mean to. Please, just let my friends be alright... I'll endure whatever pain it takes._

But Mami failed even in that, losing consciousness soon after.

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><p><em><span><strong>Some Time Later<strong>_

"How noble of you. It isn't often one sees such selflessness."

Mami opened her eyes. _What happened...?_

"You were on the verge of... changing."

_Changing?_ "Changing into-" _What?_

"Something of raw emotion; despair, it seemed, though with some anger and frustration present as well."

Mami was a little unnerved. It sounded eerily familiar.

"A witch, you think?" Satori pondered aloud, as Mami's panicked mind ran through some of the witches she had faced.

"Ah, yes. That explains the space distortion that was beginning to form. Thankfully, Okuu managed to burn you clean before it got too far underway. Even a little while longer, and there might not have been a soul under that shell to save."

"Burn me clean...? What in the-" _world is she talking about? Was I... that close?_

"You were. Something happened as the change neared completion. It felt as though your soul and its container were being turned inside out... like you were trying to swallow yourself. I've some knowledge of magic relating to souls, but I haven't felt anything like this before. Once you hit a certain threshold, your soul gem began to eat at your soul."

_What, like a self-destruct or something?_

"Something like that. Though the effect wasn't to destroy, but to change... into one of those witch beings. Mere destruction of your soul would have been far easier."

Mami was shocked. _Why... why would it turn me into a witch? Did Kyubey know? He couldn't have..._

"Your suspicions are likely correct. Having never met this 'Kyubey', I can't say for certain, but there only two explanations I can think of easily. First, perhaps he intentionally designed a device that turns you into the very thing you fight, which would rather defeat the purpose. It's possible that he would prefer your soul live on within a monster than be destroyed, but then to hunt those same... no, it doesn't make sense. The other explanation is much more likely: simple incompetence. When one toys with forces they don't understand, they don't always get the simplest result out of it. And you don't seem to think of Kyubey as the sort of immensely powerful mage that would _normally_ perform this sort of ritual."

"He doesn't seem to really have much magic at all, apart form maybe being really good at sneaking... and of course the contracts."

"Precisely. He clearly can't fight these witches himself, so he needs to rely on his ability to make youkai to fight them for him."

"Wait... me? I'm not a youkai. I'm... still human... you even said so."

"You can't really believe that. Your soul is separate from your body, you're extremely susceptible to psychological assaults, even unintentional ones... you can regenerate from just a head... less, even. You're no more human than I, now."

"I'm not a monster!"

"You certainly aren't a human. My pets were so confused because they sensed your body lacked a soul. In most circles, soulless bodies are known as corpses."

"But you keep saying I'm not dead!"

"Because you aren't. Your true body: your soul gem... it still has a form and allows you to live. But this?" Satori poked Mami on the forehead. "This is magically animated meat, bone, and organs. You've no more attachment to it than most people have to their clothes. A very nice set of clothes that they've taken a particular liking to, I suppose, but that's all. Weaving a new set of clothes takes time and effort, but in your mind it's better than going nude when your old outfit was destroyed."

Mami's head still reeled. _I wove a new body? What does that even mean? How?_

"You can call ribbons from thin air without truly knowing how. You just made a fully functional human body in much the same way. You don't seem to know the details of human anatomy, which is what makes it so impressive."

_But I can still feel my heart beat... my lungs breathe._

"As a normal person can feel their clothes touch their skin. Call yourself whatever you wish. But the sooner you realize you're no longer a human being, the better off you'll be."

Satori walked a short distance away before Mami asked a question.

"How... long will I be here?"

Satori returned Mami's soul gem to her body with a gentle toss before answering. _This is... me? _It shone a brilliant gold, brighter even than the day it had been forged.

"Until you want to leave, really. It seems most of the taint on your soul was heaped on there by an outside source... probably the soulgem itself, given that little design flaw I mentioned before. Some remains, of course, but you got a bit of an... express treatment, you might say. It will probably return to what passes for 'normal' soon enough, though. None other than a celestial would be able to remain free enough from emotions enough to keep _that_ shine for any length of time."

"I can just... go? Back home?" _I... I can really go back?_

"No. I'm afraid you're likely stuck here in Gensokyo. The Hakurei Shrine maiden might be able to get you back, but I wouldn't count on it. She would need some convincing to let a youkai outside, I think. I simply meant you're welcome to leave this palace whenever you wish."

"What's this place like, then? And... what lies outside of it?"

"You won't like it. Down here in the underground, the weak perish, and the strong survive off their remains." Satori explained matter-of-factly. Mami winced at the description... _of course... that's how it always is, isn't it?_

"Not so. On the surface I hear it's a pleasant place where even one as weak as myself could find a place. Doubtless an exaggeration, but I've not been there for-"

"Aww, sis! Don't get so down on yourself!" A voice betrayed the presence of another like Satori, though her third eye was closed, and the colors of her clothing and personality she displayed were quite opposite. Mami hardly gave a thought to how the girl had managed to get between Satori and Mami without being noticed... it just seemed natural that she'd always been there.

"Koishi! When did you get back? I'll put some tea on at once!" Satori stumbled over her words.

"Hm? Oh, just a few minutes ago. Hey, who's this?" Koishi turned to Mami, who noticed something off about her eyes... they seemed... empty. It felt almost like she were speaking with an unusually animated corpse. "Who are you?"

"I... I'm Mami Tomoe?" _At least this one has the decency to ask..._

"She can't read minds." Satori looked a bit dejected that Koishi already started to ignore her. Koishi gave a reply, oblivious to Satori's mood.

"That's right! Fixed that problem right up. Now no one minds me any more."

"I... I'd still like you to mind yourself, at least, Koishi." Satori said as Koishi was poking Mami's chest curiously. Mami was squirming a bit, trying to dodge away, but Koishi seemed to know how Mami would squirm away and preempted the dodge.

"Hah! She's way more developed than you, sis." Koishi laughed lightly at Satori, then turned suddenly to an indignant Mami, opened her mouth wide, bearing rather wicked looking teeth and waggled her tongue back and forth. "Wouldn't mind a little bite, I wouldn't!" Mami fell to the ground and froze, paralyzed with a debilitating level of fear... far more than what she should probably feel... the sight was unnerving, yes, but it bit deeply to Mami's core.

Koishi just as suddenly looked her relatively normal self, and laughed. "Hehe! Did you see that, sis? That was fear, right? I'm getting so good at this!"

"Please, you're being rude." Satori said, but Koishi's response wasn't what she predicted, of course, it never was, nowadays. Koishi turned to Mami.

"Yes! It's quite rude to use the toilet in public. Mind what my big sis says." Koishi's voice and face were the same distant vacancy they had been. Of course, Mami was still deep in shock, and the words barely even registered. Satori rested her forehead in her hand and sighed.

"Anyway, I'm off! Gotta check in on Okuu and the others. Maybe she'll let me eat her! I've always wanted to try out the Yatagarasu's power!" Koishi said, then... wasn't there anymore... somehow. If not for the Satori's pained look, Mami would doubt she had ever been there at all.

"That would be Koishi, my younger sister. She... hasn't been the same, lately." Mami dug her head out of her hands and couldn't help but notice the somber mood.

_Something must have happened... looks like it was hard on her... I can relate._

"No! No, you can't. I can read your heart, and it can't begin to understand what I've lost!" Satori exploded with anger... a far cry from the calm, distant girl she was just a short while ago. _I.. didn't even say anything._

"Oh, 'I didn't _say_ anything, so I'm innocent'. But you thought it... you _thought_ you could begin to understand me. But you can't. No one can... never again."

"Your... sister can, maybe?"

"My sister? You idiot! My sister can't even understand how to treat a guest. Just look at... no, take a good whiff, right now." Satori yelled at Mami... who only now noticed the smell of urine... and its source.

"You really think that... _that..._ could understand me? Do you? Of course not! She can't... understand... she can't understand what she's done... not to herself... not to you... and not to me." Satori broke down into sobs, her anger having burnt itself out.

Mami sat there quietly and awkwardly. _Should I comfort her? I... should I just... go? Come to think of it, I don't even have... any spare clothes with me, do I? I can't just go around like this._

"Great. Good to know I'm as important as your waste. You're a real comfort, you are." Satori's strained to speak. "I've some spare clothes... third hallway from the left, seventh door on the right. Take them, and... leave me be." The youkai walked off, upset, as Mami sat, still badly shaken from all that had just happened.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>Hours Later<strong>_

Mami let out a sigh. Not only had there been a spare change of clothes, but a full guest room, shower and all. She didn't even want to think about how or why there was plumbing in hell, but she hadn't been about to look a gift horse in the mouth. She had done what she could to clean her clothes, but they would take some time to dry. In the meantime, the clothes she had been given were fairly plain... apart from the colors (the same blue and pink her host favored), they weren't dissimilar from her own.

She couldn't just leave without thanking her host... but her host had told her to do exactly that. And part of her wanted to... to just go out into this new world... alone.

She was tired... so tired... of being alone. Satori may disagree, but Mami knew that sorrow. Why...? Why was it that whenever she had finally found a friend, they were so violently torn apart? Mami shuddered... what a terrible choice of words.

"That's not what I meant..." She told herself.

And now here she was, ready to strike out alone into a world she knew nothing of. Ready to leave behind a lonely girl- no... a lonely youkai? Was there a difference? Mami looked herself over again... the different clothes made her feel especially awkward, like her body wasn't her own... and if Satori was right, it wasn't.

Satori had been able to read Mami well... too well for her to dismiss it. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps she never _could_ understand Satori's levels of loneliness. But... maybe she could help alleviate them. And if nothing else, misery loves company, right?

Mami had kept it company on her own long enough. She stood and strode into the hall, where she asked one of the cats running around to find Satori. It seemed to understand, but resumed quickly running.

"Maybe... we won't be alone." Mami hoped out loud.

"What... what do you mean, alone?" Koishi spoke, having gotten close to her somehow.

"What? You must know what I mean... you know... loneliness...?" Mami sputtered, off balance from Koishi's sudden appearance and invasion of her personal space... Koishi's face was nearly touching Mami's own.

"Uh uh."

"Being alone... is... hard to describe. Don't you depend on anyone?"

"Nope. Just take what I do when I do from who I do. It's a great way to live... try it out!"

"Just taking? That's not how the world works."

"Maybe not for you. My sister told me breaking my eye would be terrible, but now, I'm finally free, free from all that hate I remember. And yet, I don't... remember." Koishi looked puzzled, and continued rambling.

"I mean, I remember what hate _was_. It was... well... everything. But now it's not. Now everything is nothing. Much nicer."

"Everything is nothing? You can't mean that. There are walls around us, there's me, there's your sister... there's you?"

"You feel and see walls, you think yourself, you envision me. That doesn't make them exist. So what does? Nothing. It's that simple. I wonder if sis'll ever see that."

"You aren't talking sen-"

"Nah, of course she won't. That's the point. It can't be seen. Is that what you mean by lonely? That it isn't seen? I understand now." Koishi vanished before Mami even realized she was leaving.

Mami's thoughts stuck on that. Was loneliness just... not being seen? A lack of recognition? Is... is _that_ what she had been seeking, even more than friendship? No... she didn't believe that... but a seed of doubt had been planted in her vulnerable mind.

"I wonder... just... what is it I want." She said to the empty air.

* * *

><p>"You're still here." Satori looked at Mami with her eye that saw into the soul, even as her two other eyes remained focused on the book she was writing at the moment. The blond girl looked around the study... a two-tailed cat had led her here.<p>

"I can't just go. You... you can't-" _be alone anymore._

"I don't need your pity. I'll be no more alone after you go than I was before you came. My pets keep me plenty of company."

Mami looked over the books in the room. _How long has she been here alone?_ Mami couldn't help but wonder. Dozens... no, hundreds of books lined the room.

"I've lived in Chireiden for several centuries now. I'm busy enough with my books, pets, and sister... I don't need a 'Magical Girl' in here to keep an eye on as well."

"Even your pets, you treat as burdens... if you aren't lonely, I'd like to hear just what you think being lonely _means_." Mami started paging through the books as she spoke to Satori. Satori's reply seemed rather aggressive.

"I'll tell you why you can't understand me. Just remember that you asked the question. It isn't merely that I have no one to talk to... It's that such a person no longer exists, and never again will."

"But I'm here... you can-" _talk to me._

"I can speak words at you, you can hear them, and you can speak words back. That's the level of communication you're stuck at." Satori continued to keep her head fixated on the book she was writing right now.

"It's communication, though! We can-"

"No! It's not! It's like... trying to use a string and a pair of cans to call across an ocean. And here I am with..." Satori searched for the appropriate word, but Mami had the unusual suspicion that Satori was searching Mami's mind for it. She eventually found it...

"Here I am living by myself on an island with a phone, and no one else in the world has one, and no one has materials for another. A crude analogy that hardly even touches the magnitude of my situation, but perhaps now you can understand why we can't properly communicate." Satori returned her attention in full to her writing, paying Mami little mind as she began to open and sift through the books.

Tales of failed romance, of intrigue, of loss... poems, short stories, full novels... tales of woe and despair, of loves lost and scars gained. Hours went by... Mami lost herself in writing that seemed to touch her soul. _I've never read any of these... are they all her work? They... speak right to me..._

"I wrote those, yes. Mostly inspired by the spirits that suffer within these halls. Mere words trying to capture the torment that brought them here and keeps them trapped. They speak no more to your soul than the words I'm uttering now."

"They're so... complete, though. You've left not a detail out. How can you demean your hard work like this?"

"I _have_ left details out; ones that words cannot describe. It seems you still do not understand the difference in our senses. I'll attempt to illustrate once again. Give me your soul gem."

Mami hesitated only a moment before handing it over. If she couldn't show trust in Satori, Satori would never open up to her.

"Interesting reasoning for giving me your soul. Now then, that demonstration." Satori created a small needle of magic... one that looked very familiar indeed. Mami felt panic coursing through her veins... the pain last time had been debilitating... she wouldn't do it again, would she?

"Perhaps that was enough?" Satori was herself looking very nervous, and none too eager to pierce that soul gem once again. Mami recalled the pain she had felt... and now remembered how Satori had seemed to feel it as well.

"You... can feel what others do..."

"All others near me. All the time." Satori gently lobbed the soul gem back at Mami, who gracefully caught it and replaced it on her finger. The youkai continued.

"You've felt true happiness, utter bliss." Satori's words guided Mami back to her last moments in Mitakihara, she had finally found a friend... When Madoka had accepted her as no one else would.

"I... I think I know what you're talking about, but why would that be bad for you?"

"And true despair? Have you ever felt that? Of course you have. Okuu burned it away." Satori answered her own question, and continued without giving Mami a chance to speak.

"And could you ever, _ever_ pass on those feelings?"

Mami thought hard... thought of how to describe how she had felt when Madoka had offered her friendship. _It was... amazing... I felt free... like life was full of infinite potential..._

"No... those are just words. If I said those to someone, would they feel the same emotion you did?"

"Well, I suppose... probably not...?"

"Exactly. They might have a vague comprehension of what you're trying to say, and may even get the smallest echo of it from your words and tone. Now, when I tell you that satori -can- feel that, even without the words... Do you begin to understand?"

Mami nodded. "I... I think so."

"Good. Now, perhaps you can understand this. As Koishi was before, we shared this. We shared everything... Our joys, our pains, our triumphs and failures, our lives. We couldn't _not_ do so. And there was a lot of pain. Few are the people who like having their hearts read to them."

_I... I wouldn't mind. It's... just telling someone who they are._

"Have you already forgotten earlier? You didn't exactly handle the fact that you weren't human very well... even now you continue to lie to yourself, trying to cling to your humanity. Others dislike that they aren't as honest as they thought they were, or that they're motivated by greed rather than love, or that they're not as happy as they tell themselves they are. Humans and youkai alike guard the illusion they've crafted of themselves very carefully. When a satori shatters that..."

"They're hated for it."

"Correct. Now, allow me to continue. Koishi and I were, as I said, together in a way humans can't even dream of. When Koishi closed her third eye, she abandoned that. No words, no matter the feeling behind them, are anything more than mere sounds that she hears and reacts to. Nothing can reach her... nothing can touch her. Not the most beautiful music the world has to offer nor the most foul betrayal could make her shed a tear. "

"What about you? If you can know what people feel..." _can't you understand her?_

"And therein lies the source of my deepest pain. I cannot. She is emptier than a person without words, for at least they can feel. And I, who once had a companion with whom words were unnecessary, who had true understanding... who could feel my pain and joy as I felt hers..." Satori had stopped writing, and Mami noticed the tears falling on the pages, blurring the ink that still bled onto the page as she continued.

"Now, I have no one. _That_ is the depth of my solitude. Yes, I'm lonely. All the pets in the world won't change that. But there are no other satori, so the most I can do is gather around me the only creatures in the world too simple and one dimensional to hate me. Yet my solitude is nothing compared to my sister's. I can't even save her from a loneliness so profound she can't even recognize it."

Mami was without words. There were no words, were there? Pity? Sympathy? Concern? All worthless words... nothing that could express how she felt. But as Satori looked at her with tear filled eyes, Mami knew that her feeling had been received.

And knew, too, that she could never return the gesture... could never hope to truly share Satori's pain.


	3. The Heart of a Monster

Mami held her soul gem cupped between her hands. It yet shone with a brilliant gold, though it had already dimmed somewhat. What if Satori's purification had failed? She recognized now the feelings that had overwhelmed her... her experience with witches had given her a keen sense for their presence, and a witch _had_ nearly been born, that day. And Mami had almost been destroyed... she shuddered, chilled to her core despite the room's warmth.

Perhaps a witch _had_ been born... maybe this was how witches viewed things... her loneliness and despair echoing off an even more traumatized girl. Perhaps simply by trying to help, she was just making things worse. And if she _was_ a witch... then she'd certainly be better off dead. And if she wasn't, and would turn into a witch eventually, perhaps death wouldn't be so bad. In that case, why delay the inevitable? She looked again at the soul gem in her hands, but she heard someone at the door.

Mami turned to look and saw the cat youkai from earlier... Orin, was it? She simply leaned against the doorframe, but when Mami kept staring for a bit, she finally spoke up.

"Oh, don't mind me. Just doing my job." She swept her hand through her hair and stood impassively.

"Wasn't your job collecting corpses? I thought it's been made clear I'm not really one."

"Real close to becoming one, though. And these last moments are always the most fun to watch. And then we'll have fun stories to talk about, right?" A few spirits hovered out past Orin and bobbed up and down enthusiastically.

"See? Death isn't so bad. Sure, there's the burning, but that's only if you really messed up your life, and even that's not permanent." Orin stretched and continued. Mami simply glared in response.

"Shucks... well, if you do get around to killing yourself, do a girl a favor and give me a heads up, would you? You look like you'd be real tasty. It'd be a real shame if one of the lesser youkai wasted your corpse."

Mami grabbed a nearby shoe and moved to lob it at Orin, who beat a hasty retreat. Youkai or not, it seemed she was as much a cat as anything else. Mami transformed her soulgem into a ring once again and donned it. As much as she wanted to deny it, Orin's intuition had been right. Could she really just leave Satori behind, like that? Would Satori even care? _Could_ Satori even care?

"Of course I can. Sorry about Orin. She gets like that, sometimes... it's just what she is." Satori stood in the doorway, now.

"Wha... what are you doing here? Don't-" _You have business?_

"None so important it can't wait indefinitely. And I'm here to make sure a guest minds herself and doesn't leave without a proper farewell."

"I wasn't going to leave..." Mami's lie would be obvious even if Satori couldn't read her heart directly.

"Not even a Kitsune can lie to me. I don't know why you'd think you could."

_I just wanted to spare her the pain._

"Truthfully, I doubt I'd have noticed you were gone. My pets would have eaten your corpse, and I'd have quickly forgotten about the former human that had stayed with me but a single night."

_Why does everyone bring up the eating thing? _It was beginning to get on her nerves. She already _knew_ how she failed; she didn't need to be reminded of it every half hour.

"It's simply the way of things here... you might be right, though... perhaps fate is conspiring to remind you of your sudden escape into Gensokyo." Satori chuckled.

"Please, don't laugh... please..." Mami asked as tears began flowing. Satori already regretted her laugh.

"Very well. Accept my apology, then." Satori bowed her head as Mami looked at her for a while, eventually nodding.

"I just... I'm still not over it. I failed to protect them... and... oh no..." _They... they must have seen me die... then... their last moments..._

"Almost assuredly full of terror and despair, as you fear. You weren't swallowed whole, so I suspect they got a good anatomy lesson."

_Just shut up._

"Ah, there's the attitude I'm used to."

_Why can't you just stop rubbing salt in the wound?_

"It keeps it from getting infected. Some people build their whole lives around a lie... I don't want to let you do that again."

_Again...? _

"Your life in the other world, you lived a lie. You presented a strong facade and refused to show weakness. But you still _had_ weakness... you failed to acknowledge it, and fell here as a result."

_Is that really... true? _"I... I thought that if my worthless life could help others, then I would be alright with that. That I could live as a Magical Girl, at least..."

"And you were wrong on two counts. Neither was your life worthless, nor were you truly so selfless. You sought recognition... and through that, you sought companions. And when you finally found them, your self-deception doomed you."

Mami turned away. Satori's words kept hitting far too close to the mark for Mami's comfort. "And what about you, Satori? What makes you so sure you're being honest with _your_self?"

"Nothing. For all that I can see through others' self-deceptions, I can't tell if I've any of my own. Were my sister still..." Satori paused, the memory clearly troubling her. "Back when there was another satori, I could see myself through her... my own deceptions were as obvious to me then as yours are now. Now, though, I don't even know."

"Why... why did you come here?" Mami asked.

"To be honest... I don't know. I don't know why I wanted to speak with you. Perhaps because you're the only one who listened when I talked to them? Because you're the other part of the closest thing I've had to a conversation in centuries? I don't know..."

"I... I wish I could do for you what you've been doing for me... that I could help you see what problems you face... and how to deal with them. I'll try to do what I can though... to listen."

"That's all I could reasonably ask for. Orin and Okuu may be fine pets, but they... well, they don't make for very good discussions."

_Don't remind me..._

"Again, my apologies for their behavior, but they can't help being what they are. While you may have already begun to change from what I've told you, they can't. No more than you could change your contract with Kyubey."

"They're just animals after all, I suppose?"

"It's the nature of youkai, actually. Most don't change easily..."

"See? I'm-" _Not a youkai... not a monster..._

"Some change more than others. You've already met one who changed a great deal." Satori pointed out, though doing so seemed to cause her some pain.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of her..."

"No... it's alright. She's never far from my thoughts, no matter how lost she is to the thoughts of others."

"I hate to impose further, but..."

"Yes, we have some food... I suppose you don't really wish to use magic if you don't have to, what with the cost to your soul. Perhaps you should speak with Marisa to see if you can learn magic properly."

"Marisa?"

"The 'local' human 'witch', and not the sort you're thinking of." Satori quickly added the second part as Mami became guarded at the mere word 'witch'.

"And... she's... just a human?"

"I wouldn't suggest calling her that to her face, but unless something's changed recently, that is correct. Though be warned that she's also a greedy and selfish thief and a compulsive liar who lacks any sort of subtlety or grace." Satori explained.

"I... don't suppose there's anyone else I could learn from?" Mami wasn't terribly impressed with the description of Marisa.

"Oh, anyone who knows magic could probably teach you. Though you'd be hard pressed to find someone who _wasn't_ a greedy, selfish liar around here. At least Marisa's open about her nature."

"It can't be all that bad. I mean, well, you know magic right? Could you teach me?"

"I could, I suppose. Probably even better than most. Although I don't recommend practicing your magic _against_ me. My spellcards would quite possibly destroy your soul."

"I don't want to fight you, Satori." Mami was hurt at the apparent display of mistrust, but Satori clarified her meaning quickly.

"You'll need to fight _someone_ to get used to the spellcard rules. Without them, you'll be at the whim of any youkai you meet. And I hate to bring it up again, but they very rarely get to dine on a human body. Outsiders and youkai aren't protected quite the same way the local humans are. You may not be entirely human, but you're close enough for their purposes." Satori calmly explained, and as expected, Mami's mood soured a bit.

"At least I'll be learning from the best, then."

"The best?" Satori laughed. "No, I'm afraid not. My spellcards could destroy your soul, but only because it's so fragile and exposed; I turn my opponent's psyche upon itself, you see. Last time that happened to you, your soul nearly devoured itself, and I wasn't even _trying_."

Mami remembered the despair she had felt... so... Satori had felt that, too? Felt that deep, consuming despair?

"I did." Satori stated matter-of-factly. _I don't want to hurt anyone... I don't want to become a monster..._

"Oh, don't worry. Once you transformed, you'd enjoy it. You would embrace your new nature rather easily... it's not unlike a youkai becoming possessed by one of the spirits here, I'd think. By the way, it probably goes without saying, but you probably shouldn't let the spirits near your soulgem if you're that concerned about this sort of change.""

"But I don't-"

"Perhaps it would be best to show you. I'll plan for a meeting that should make it clear. Regarding the previous point... I may be a decent teacher for you, but only because I can immediately sense any misconceptions you'd form and correct them immediately. I can teach into your paradigm easily, as I already know it. I'm actually not terribly good at fighting... even Okuu and Orin beat me rather often, now."

"I'm still lucky, then." _For having such a capable mentor._ It felt weird... Mami had worked so hard to be respected... had introduced so many to the life of a Magical Girl... and now here she was, the student, for a change.

"Don't think- look, just because I can train you well doesn't mean there wouldn't be better choices. Letting anyone know you so much as met me would be enough to turn them against you; telling them I trained you would probably get you killed on the spot."

"Just to spite you?" Mami asked, but Satori shook her head as she replied.

"Because they fear me and my power."

"Right... your heart reading... you mentioned that people hate your for it, because your show them a side of themselves they don't want to see. I understand that." Mami had herself experienced that several times, now.

"Ah, but it's so much more than that. Remember when I transformed your soul gem?"

"Yeah, you..." _Used my magic to do it... how _did_ she manage that?_

"Another characteristic of my third eye. With it, I can easily learn and master anything anyone else has used, seen, or even imagined. People fear my potential... there are few indeed who would be able to face themselves, and fewer still able to defeat their deepest nightmares."

Mami considered... "But... you don't seem the violent type. All the power in the world doesn't change how someone would use it."

"You'd be wrong again... on the second point at least. Power truly does corrupt. Were I anything other than a satori, they'd be right to fear that sort of power. Of course, the same thing that gives me that power is that which prevents me from using it for ill."

Mami realized what she was talking about from their previous discussion. "You feel the pain of others..." _so you can't cause suffering without feeling it yourself._

"I have a rather large tolerance for emotional and physical pain, but it does make combat a last resort. So now there are three beings in the world that recognize that my power isn't truly a threat."

"There's a third? Ah, you must mean" _Koishi._

"No... she has forgotten what it's like to feel her own pain, let alone that of another. I refer to the Yama of Paradise."

"The Yama? You know the Yama?" Mami's head spun. _There's a Yama? That means there's an afterlife... and this is all real?_

"I know the local one, yes. She's my employer, so to speak. I was chosen to mind over this hell, as my third eye made me uniquely suited to preventing... let's call them 'jailbreaks'."

"But it can't be comfortable... if you can feel all their hate and pain...?"

"It isn't, of course. The pets help counter the hate with their love, though... in all it isn't _so_ bad. They give me plenty of writing material, for instance." Satori let out a dry laugh. "Really, my situation isn't dissimilar from yours. Koishi and I... the last of our kind... were on the verge of death when we were offered this opportunity from the Yama."

"You didn't... really have a choice either, then, did you?"

"Of course we did. We could have died. Perhaps we'd even be better off... certainly my sister would, considering what happened to her."

_Then.. you devoted yourself to your new role... just like I did. But... you haven't failed, yet._

"Funny story about that. Isn't that right, Orin?" Satori looked out the door... no one was there, but Mami heard footsteps fleeing gracefully. She couldn't help but wonder...

"What was that about?" _Did Orin... do something wrong?_

"Apart from eavesdropping right now, a while ago she let some spirits escape. It's a long story, but rest assured it was better than her doing nothing. Even so, it meant I had failed. Yet all we can do is learn, adjust, and move on... a truth you need to accept, yourself."

"I think I'm beginning to. But... you were able to just keep working. Here... what good is there in being a Magical Girl? Especially if I'm still doomed to just... become a witch."

"That is up to you to determine. A mirror like myself can't change what it reflects. If you don't like what I'm showing you, then change, and be thankful you can. Again, though, I don't think changing your youkai nature is necessarily bad, if you can manage it."

"That wasn't-" _really what I was looking for._

"Of course it wasn't. You want an easy answer... you want companionship... and I've already told you why I can't give you that. It would require more equality in communication, and unless you can read my heart, or I close my eye, that can't happen. And if a satori closes her eye... well, you've already seen my sister." Satori was starting to tear up again.

"It isn't fair, though! Why do we need to..." _Be so alone._ Mami's frustration at being unable to close that gap was becoming more and more intense.

"Well, we are, so maybe the sooner you can stop reminding me of that with your mere presence, the better off I'll be." Satori snapped back, at least as frustrated as Mami was at the situation, causing Mami to recoil.

"Sure, to you I might be blind and deaf... but even the blind and the deaf have a right to be cared for... the right to care for someone that isn't." Mami shouted.

Satori glared silently at Mami for a while before speaking. "You know the pain I bear and bring, and still you offer sympathy. I've tried convincing you time and time again that you'd be better off gone. Yet every time, your resolve to stay here only increases. Your life is bad enough already, yet you insist on making it worse-"

"Because I can't bear the thought of the pain you live with every day. No one deserves that kind of grief."

"You don't understand how the universe works. It _is_ just. Those who do ill are sent to a hell to pay, those who do good move up the karmic ladder, and those who understand the system and live pure lives ascend beyond it. These are all fact."

"But you haven't earned the pain you're going through, now. It isn't your fault your sister decided-"

"Even within a life, decisions have consequences. I could have died instead of accepting the Yama's offer. I could have... no, I still can, follow Koishi into her oblivion. I could leave my post here and let the flames of Hell burn unchecked. Yet I choose to continue... not because things will get better or because my presence is needed... that may or may not be the case. I stay because I've made my decisions, and I'm going to stick to them. If I refuse the consequences of my choices, then there would be no meaning to them."

_And in my heart..._ Mami clutched her chest. "Do you hear regret? Do you think I'm any less committed to the decisions I've made? Even when Kyouko abandoned her principles and mine to leave me... did I stop my life as a Magical Girl?" Mami's question struck Satori hard... the youkai paused as Mami continued.

"I'm going to help you, because I need to try. When I became a Magical Girl, the only thing that kept me going was that I was doing good; I was killing beings of grief and spreading hope. What sort of Magical Girl would I be if I ignored suffering as great as yours?" Mami noticed the tears starting to form in Satori's eyes.

"This... this is what a Magical Girl is good for here." Mami said as she gently hugged the youkai. She knew deep in her heart that they could find solace in each other's company. Not only could Satori have a companion, but finally Mami could as well. _I'll help you through this. We can work together..._

Satori suddenly shoved Mami away forcefully. "Have you learned nothing?!" the youkai yelled. Mami staggered backwards at the sudden betrayal. She felt as though an arrow had pierced her soul... Satori spoke then as tears of betrayal poured from both pairs of eyes. "You aren't doing this for me, you're doing it so _you_ aren't alone. Just like everyone else, you mask your selfish motives by convincing yourself you're bringing good... you lie to yourself, you lie to me, and you feel betrayed when I show you the truth." Satori left, slamming the door shut behind her.

Mami cried as she always had since she entered her new life.

Alone.

_Author's Note: What color was that kettle again, Satori?_

_Sorry about the late update. I lost track of time. I'm trying to release a chapter of this a week, and if I ever get off my lazy rear then to also put up some of the other smallerish works I've done here and there.  
><em>

_I'm glad you're all enjoying it. I feel like it's rather different from how A Satori's Tale was written. This is a lot more focused on this single pair of characters, and I was wondering if it would still be compelling. Thankfully, it seems to be, so please continue to enjoy it. It really does motivate me to know people like and read my works._


	4. Going Green

_Author's Note: Kind of a short chapter this week. Just sort of how it turned out._

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>Mami's Room in Chireiden, after some sleep<strong>_

Mami sat quietly, unable to concentrate on anything as she picked at the quite honestly delicious meal she had been provided. While she couldn't doubt Satori had been telling the truth about understanding how Mami felt, Mami's own heart convinced her that the youkai _must_ have been lying. Otherwise, how could Satori even keep living? Mami was growing more and more sure she couldn't.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Mami bid them enter, and saw the same black-winged girl she had met earlier... Looking at it again, the red orb she had mistaken for a soul gem was huge... and seemed to be looking back at her... Mami shuddered a bit as the creature spoke.

"Ummm... Satori said... what was it..." The bird seemed to be struggling to remember something.

"Did she have a message for me?" Mami asked hopefully.

"Yeah, that's it! I can't remember what it was, though." Okuu rested her chin on her hand, which was clutching some papers.

"Perhaps it has to do with whatever you're holding?" Mami timidly suggested.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, probably!" Okuu looked it over and soon shrugged and handed it over. "I think it's for you. Anyway, back to work!" Okuu left, leaving Mami to wonder if the birdbrain would manage to find her way back to where she needed to be. Mami unfolded the crumpled paper and began reading, praying Satori was willing to give Mami another chance to reach out to her.

_I've set up a means by which you can escape this hell. If you follow this map, you should be able to avoid any major thoroughfares in the city. Avoid speaking with anyone; if you acknowledge them, you'll almost certainly die, or even worse be sent back here. Once you reach the bridge, it will be a straightforward path to the surface... again, the map should be clear enough. If not, blame Orin. Get to the Hakurei Shrine... from there, you can either meet with Marisa, or try and convince Reimu to send you back home._

_The bridge will likely be your largest obstacle. The guardian there once devoted herself to protecting the bridge and all who crossed it and relied on it. She has undergone a change as great as that which you nearly did. See how dissatisfied she is for yourself, and see if becoming a witch is as bad as you think._

_Get out of my home,_

_Satori Komeiji._

Mami read the brief letter several times. She was just getting kicked out... without even a goodbye? Though it pained her, she would go. Her presence was troubling Satori... and maybe the youkai was right... maybe Mami just wasn't being honest with herself. Did she want to help to help, or did she want to help to be with another... to receive praise?

She prepared what few things she had, and tearfully trudged through the door to her room and meandered through the halls... after a time she bumped into someone.

"Lady, you're going the wrong way. The exit's over there." Orin's voice was filled with disgust as it addressed Mami.

"Oh... I'm sorry... could you... lead me out of here?"

"I will. The sooner you get out of here, the sooner master can start to forget you." The Kasha's voice dripped with almost palpable disgust and anger.

"I didn't mean to hurt her..."

"What else could I have expected? You're nearly human, the worst of them all. You don't deserve master's love, so you don't get it. Be thankful she's at least giving you a chance to leave."

"Please believe me!" Mami begged.

"Master doesn't, and I trust her. We all do... more than you ever could." Orin's hatred nearly overwhelmed Mami. "The great hall is just down that hallway there; the exit is in there. If I see you again, I'll assume you decided to provide us that meal after all." Orin walked away, and Mami started down the indicated hall. As she walked into the great hall, she saw pets staring at her, felt their judging gazes as she walked.

She couldn't miss the doors that marked the exit of Chireiden. She passed through them, thankful to be free of the hundreds of eyes. She pulled out the map, but it had become impossible to read... she wiped away her tears and had a bit more success, but she doubted she even truly wanted to read it.

She set off along the path Satori had indicated... without even trying, she managed to follow Satori's instructions to keep to herself; Mami was far too deep in thought to acknowledge any of the catcalls or insults thrown her way. None of their judgements could sting as much as those of Satori and her pets, anyway.

Before she even knew it, her feet fell on wooden boards. She looked up, a bit surprised, and found herself on a bridge. Double checking the map, it seemed there was only one it could be. Ahead of her, the rocks almost seemed to glow a sickly green, but amidst this, the pair of green eyes that met her own shone like emeralds.

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chireiden, Satori's Study<strong>_

"She's gone, then..." Satori confirmed from Orin's mind. Her pet had led the girl out, and Okuu had returned without the letter, so it seemed Mami was well-prepared.

_Yep! She won't be able to hurt you any more!_ Orin, currently in her feline form rubbed her cheek against Satori's hand, and Satori answered by petting her.

"No... she won't." Satori sighed. "As deluded as she was, though, I hope she fares well... not just for her sake, but for the sake of those around her. Her motives may have been selfish, but that doesn't stop them from benefiting others. Maybe she even learned something from her time here."

Orin merely nestled warmly, no longer caring one bit about the outsider that had briefly interrupted the routine. Satori still found Orin's simple-mindedness comforting... not especially fulfilling, but she would make do. She would have to... Satori had spared Mami the mutual pain of her company... the girl deserved at least that much for her efforts.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>'The Bridge that No One Crosses...'<strong>_

"Ah, I'm sorry, but I just need to cross this bridge." Mami took a step forward, but the blond haired, pointy eared woman in front of her stepped in her way.

"Oh? Now, all of a sudden, it's just _fine_ for people to cross over?" The woman put on a distant gaze, seeming happy. "Finally, my bridge will have purpose once again! It will connect the underground with the surface, and bring peace to both!" The woman's face contorted suddenly into one of disgust.

"Do you think that's how this works? Why should you see the sun when I've been denied it my whole life? The open sky, rivers running with fresh water, instead of the corpse filled river this bridge spans... tell me, what makes you so much more deserving of these than myself?"

"What...? Nothing! You're welcome to come along..."

The woman before her laughed. "Oh, that's rich. Do you really think I would? Ah, to be so naïve... it must be a true blessing..."

"I really mean it! I'd be happy to have you along." Mami insisted, and she meant it... she needed companionship now more than ever. The woman's green eyes seemed to flare with emotion...

"I'm Parsee Mizuhashi. I've been here, watching over this bridge as it fell from glory, guarding it from the first support placed to the bridge you see now. And now you come here, and insult all my time here by thinking I'd just _leave_?"

Mami bit her lips lightly. "That's not what I meant at all! I'm sure you've worked very hard-"

"Don't patronize me. I haven't had any work to speak of for centuries. Even if this bridge were destroyed, no one would care... even if someone _wanted_ to cross, everyone can fly now, it seems, so they'd simply do that."

"That's not true! You've watched it for so long... there must be a reason."

"I've watched it for so long because that's what I've done. You... you really are that blind... Look, over there, see that?" Parsee pointed back over Mami's shoulder, indicating a city that Mami hardly even remembered having just passed through. Mami nodded, unable to miss it.

"I saw you walking through there... you never even looked around. You've known such comfort... so many wide joys, that such a wondrous place doesn't even catch your eye." Parsee's eyes seemed to pierce Mami deeply as she continued speaking. Mami wasn't sure why Parsee was so upset... the Magical Girl found the Youkai's life to be nearly idyllic... no news is good news, after all. Especially when put next to the hellish life of a Magical Girl.

"I've had a clear view of it for hundreds of years. I see people walking freely around through it... I hear the parties that go on all the time. And I want to join, but I can't. So you want to cross this bridge? Go to the surface, maybe find your way home? Great. I won't let you. Then you'll know what my grim existence feels like." Parsee punctuated her thoughts with a glare that seemed to pin Mami down.

Mami's mind flooded with images of her friends... how long had it been since she'd seen a sunrise? A week at most, but that week now felt like an eternity. She recalled the clear blue skies, wished so badly to return home. Home... the apartment she'd tried to fill with whatever she could to avoid the truth that she was alone. She thought of Homura... of Madoka and Sayaka. The former doubtless had gotten whatever she wanted, and the latter two were at least at peace in death... Mami envied them, now, free from this torment... this life.

Mami staggered over to the railing on the bridge. She looked down into the stagnant, disease-ridden and corpse-filled water. Madoka's parents... they'd live in blissful ignorance of what had happened to their little girl, while Mami was left knowing her last moments had been filled with agony, watching Mami's doubtless gruesome 'death' before meeting one no less grisly. Mami couldn't keep her thoughts to herself.

"At least you've never betrayed anyone. No one cares what mistakes you might have made... even a worthless being like yourself has more value than me... I envy your empty existence." Mami said as she faced the bridge's guardian... the green glow from beyond the bridge seemed to catch Parsee's face oddly.

"You? Envy _me_?" Parsee laughed. "Oh, this is rich. Delicious! You, who have everything and want for almost nothing, dares to envy _me_!"

"Who wouldn't? ! _You're_ the one who has everything; a place to be, a purpose for existing, and security beyond what anybody could ever hope for." Mami was beginning to feel drained; the emotional rollercoaster she'd been on wasn't doing her state of mind any favors. Parsee, however, seemed content now as she sat back against the opposite rail and spoke.

"Well, perhaps. It's been a long time since anyone's envied me. Surely, though, you can't mean what you say..." Parsee's eyes gave a covetous glance at the ring that was far more than mere jewelry resting on Mami's finger.

"But I do! You've never known the loss of a friend... never felt your world torn from under you. You've never blindly thrown your life away, only to find out your sacrifice was in vain." Mami cried out at the injustice of it all... that this beast was unhappy with such a quiet, happy life. Her heart split open and spilled its contents forth.

"You'll never need to worry about dying, or becoming a monster. Every day I fought I thought I faced my death, but when it came down to it, I couldn't even do that right! But you've managed to keep your bridge... you've managed to keep your existence... You're... You're even happy, now!" Mami looked into Parsee's eyes and saw contentment and satiation where once there had been only jealousy... jealousy that now reflected in Mami's own eyes instead.

"You're happy, and still you complain... you call _me_ complacent? You don't eat, or you'd have starved by now. If the bridge's disrepair really bothered you, you'd fix it up! How _dare_ you, who has everything you could desire... how dare _you_ envy _me!_" Mami's heart bled itself dry as she pointed an accusing finger at the youkai... right before she collapsed to all fours, sobbing... an emotional wreck...

Parsee gave the quivering mass a kick before pulling off the shiny ring it wore. "Well, this didn't suit me much when you arrived. Glowing yellow, eagh. I think it would make a fine decoration, now, though. Perhaps even a nice bartering chip." She admired the unusual craftsmanship in the ring... its former yellow glow now mixed in with green swirls, bearing an uncanny resemblance to vomit, though the colors were dulled enough to be almost imperceptible.

Parsee stowed the ring and shoved the sobbing husk she had taken the ring from over the railing into the water.

"Ahh, how nice it must feel to fill another's appetite." Parsee grinned, satiated from her fresh meal.


	5. Reflection of the Empty Mirror

Mami felt her body hit the water. By some twist of fate, she quickly found herself floating on her back, gazing up at the bridge. She couldn't even muster the effort to move. What was the point? If Parsee had gotten everything she wanted by just sitting there at the bridge, then why should Mami work for what she wanted? She'd just sit here and float until happiness or death came her way.

She floated in the river, awaiting one end or another, for an indeterminable period of time.

* * *

><p>Mami felt a poke, then heard a boisterous laugh. Her body fluttered slightly to remove itself from this distraction, but she felt a firm hand grab her leg at the ankle and drag her up.<p>

"Hey now, tell me, does she need a drink?" The burly, feminine voice bellowed, holding Mami's limp body by a single knee as water dripped off the ends of her hair. She gave a disinterested look around and saw several full grown people. Men and women, many sporting horns on the tops of their heads.

An affirmative cheer let out from the crowd, and Mami saw another face enter her field of vision as her body was lifted... a single red horn sporting a star decoration nearly pierced her gut as the large woman spoke to her.

"Don't worry, we know how to cheer a person up. You'll be our guest of honor; The sake is on us, so just take it easy!" The face disappeared as its owner stood upright and carried Mami almost like a trophy, still in her disgraceful, drenched state... then Mami paid no attention at all as everything became dark... then black... then nothing but a seething, unbearable jealousy... directed at her former self... the one that had had a body to move.

* * *

><p>Yuugi Hoshiguma, dressed in her usual white shirt and translucent blue and purple skirt, looked at her guest of honor, who had suddenly started behaving a lot more like a corpse than a guest of honor. Yuugi gave the girl an experimental shake, which elicited no response at all (Well, not from the girl, anyway). She lifted the body up and looked the girl in the eyes... empty, dead eyes. Odd, she hadn't been <em>quite<em> that bad before.

Yuugi held up a hand and the crowd of oni around her stopped as she spoke.

"I think me I need to have a word with Parsee about how we welcome guests to the city. Go ahead and get started; we'll catch right up." The cheers among the oni brought a smile to Yuugi's face. Guest of honor or no, the Oni didn't need an excuse to party... they just preferred one. The crowd moved on as Yuugi brought the body to the bridge under which it had been found.

"Hey, Parsee!" Yuugi bellowed out.

"What is it, loudmouth?" Parsee replied using the nickname she favored for the particularly noisy oni.

"If you think this is loud, you should see me when I'm angry. Who knows, you might just get that chance today." Yuugi grinned as she dropped the body on the ground.

"You know this girl?" Yuugi asked. "She's our guest of honor, but she stopped moving partway back to the city."

"Oh really? I'm pretty surprised she was moving before then. Sure you weren't just shaking her too much?" Parsee didn't even lock gazes with the oni as she leaned on the railing of her bridge and stared at the walls she had memorized so well.

"What have I told you about letting people through, Parsee?"

"Hey, don't blame _me_. That girl wasn't coming down, she was trying to leave. You know how I feel about that."

"And you know how _I_ feel about liars..."

"Yeah, I do. These eyes may not be the best in the world, but I've memorized the scenery around here... the walls, the bridge, the water, the city, the Palace... and rest assured, Chireiden's doors don't open just any day. Then a little later this girl appears? I think you can put two and two together, Yuugi."

"She's from Chireiden? She doesn't look like one of Satori's pets."

"She doesn't, no. Well, it sure wasn't Satori in disguise... I actually managed to hold a conversation with this one. And you wouldn't be_lieve_ how delicious she was. I actually got her envying _me_!" Parsee laughed. Yuugi shrugged before replying.

"Well, who knows that , but the point remains that I told her she was going to be our guest of honor, and I don't like lying..." Yuugi frowned.

"I don't know what to tell ya. I didn't exactly leave much on the plate, you know."

"If you ever want to enjoy another meal, you'd better help her out." Yuugi stood to her full height and Parsee got the point.

"No need for violence, Yuugi. I wish I'd thought of that earlier though... I suppose I was thinking of her too much as a meal, and not enough as a waitress. Hmmm... if she was moving, before..." Parsee idly thumbed her newly acquired trinket as she pondered, and it's dull, vomitous yellow-green swirls seemed to dance as she moved her finger along the ring. Yuugi took a sip from her sake dish before pointing to the ring.

"Where'd you get that?"

"This dumb blond had it on her. Must be one of those mood rings I've heard about. Huh..." Parsee took another look at it. "It was a bit brighter before, I'd swear. I suppose my mood must be falling down now that the thrill of the hunt and feast wore off."

* * *

><p>Mami stirred. She opened her eyes to a find most of her view blocked by a large wooden bridge. She twitched a bit at the chill; her soaked clothes were doing nothing to keep her warm, and soon the twitch turned into a violent shiver.<p>

"Huh? Hey, look, she's all better. Go get your drinking underway, and don't forget to save some for me."

"Will do!" Mami hear the large woman reply to Parsee as her ankle was grabbed and she was dragged unceremoniously away. She didn't even care enough to struggle... until she saw the ring Parsee was fidgeting with. She started to kick and pull at the wood boards... she'd recognize that ring anywhere, though it looked rather alien with its green tracings.

"Huh? Well, you've got some life in you yet, it looks like."

"The ring... my ring..." Mami said, slowly realizing that her mindless scraping against the ground wasn't accomplishing anything, but unable to muster up the effort to do anything more. She had spoken with a drained and level voice... she had no desire left, only necessity, and she knew she needed her soul gem back.

"Hey, Parsee, the girl wants her trinket back."

"Ehhhh." Parsee considered it, wanting badly to keep it, despite it's dull, disgusting color... Then she decided that no gem, no matter how attractive, was worth getting on Yuugi's bad side. "Fine, but you two owe me." Parsee lobbed the ring towards Yuugi, but Mami reached up and grabbed it with alarming speed. It suddenly changed into a gem held in a metallic cage, and although it was now mostly a dull yellow, there were unfamiliar green tracings running through it... Mami looked at it curiously a few moments, before Yuugi spoke up.

"Well, There you go. Must be important to you. Now that you've got that, it's time to get to the party! I'm Yuugi, by the by."

"I'm Mami Tomoe." The girl's monotone speech was interrupted by being suddenly hoisted over Yuugi's shoulder. Parsee called out after them as the pair went off.

"She looks like a lightweight, Yuugi. Mind her limits; we don't need a repeat of-"

"Yeah, yeah. Twenty'll probably be fine, I'm thinking." Yuugi replied as they left earshot.

Parsee muttered to herself. "I'd be surprised if she could handle _one_ keg, you oaf."

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>The Great Hall of Chiereiden<strong>_

Satori had just finished explaining the situation to Shikieiki, and now had to tolerate hearing it again as the Yama mulled it over in her mind... at least the Yama was one of those rare people who spoke what they thought; nothing more, and nothing less. A refreshing honesty, but it was rather loud.

"And you just... sent her to the surface?" Shikieiki's presence towered over Satori.

"Yes! I wonder if she'll make it past Parsee, though."

"I see... did you notice anything odd about her age?"

"What? Well... to be honest, something was off about her. Her heart seemed quite old, but she doesn't even have two decades of memories."

The Yama nodded. "Well, that sounds about right. There's some sort of funny business going on with the records at the ministry; it's part of why I had her dropped off here while we sorted it out."

"What? You sent her here into a hell? Why would you do that? What did you think would happen?"

"I'd hoped you'd appreciate the company. It seems you're determined to be miserable, though. I suppose it's your right to bear what weight you wish, and there's little point in helping one who doesn't want to be helped." Shikieiki frowned as she sipped her tea.

Satori looked at the Yama's mirror... that mirror that reflected the truth... possibly the only way Satori could ever know her heart again... but Satori couldn't just ask... Her gaze didn't go unnoticed.

"The mirror won't tell you anything you shouldn't already know, Satori Komeiji. When you're ready, you'll look into the mirror and see yourself. Until then, you have no right to judge others as you do. You must first judge yourself."

"Don't you think that's what I've been trying to do?" Satori said through gritted teeth.

"I don't. _I_ think that you need to take a closer look at yourself. Why did you send that girl off to be devoured by Parsee?"

"I didn't! I sent her to the surface so she could get back home, if she desired." Satori crossed her arms in denial.

"You don't believe that any more than I do. For one who preaches honesty, you're committing the same sin as those you claim to help." The Yama was beginning to really get on Satori's nerve. Particularly because she knew Shikieiki was right.

"Fine! I sent her off so I could be alone again. Because I was growing attached to her and I can't deal with another loss like Koishi. Because I wanted to give her the chance to escape hell, knowing she can't find happiness here. Because I think she would be better off dead than trapped in Chireiden. Because Mami Tomoe deserves to see the sun, deserves more than what I can give her. And because I can't stand her wasting her efforts on, as you so pointed out, someone who _won't_ be helped. Is that what you wanted to hear? All those reasons and more!" Satori started firmly, and got louder, working up to a shout. The Yama sat patiently through it all, before finally speaking.

"If you're so willing to open your heart to me, why not to the one who was trying to look into it?"

Satori lost her momentum... "Because then she wouldn't leave. Telling her that would bind her here. I can't damn her to a life in hell, hated just for being near me. If she had the mental resolve to tolerate such a life, she would be able to get past Parsee and reach the surface... maybe even return to her friends... a far better life than this."

"And if she doesn't have that resolve? Then what, when she faces Parsee?"

"It seems she'll likely turn into a spirit of despair, a true monster... and like Parsee, she'd come to enjoy her new existence, despite what she thinks. She'd fit right in among the other exiled youkai. Maybe she would just die... that wouldn't be so bad either."

"Parsee was never given a choice. She may not be unhappy, but neither does that mean her existence now is better than ever. Would it have been better if the bridge still had its original guard? Perhaps, perhaps not... but the old Parsee is gone... and I think you just want the old Mami Tomoe gone."

"Of course I do. The sooner she's gone, the sooner I can move on."

"Move on to what?" The Yama asked pointedly.

"To... to fixing... Koishi... I'm... I'm sure there must be a way." Satori muttered.

"You would rather cling to the past than create a future, it seems. Well, who am _I_ to judge one as almighty as yourself?" Shikieiki Yamaxanadu spoke firmly as she stood, and Satori listened. "I _will_ judge you as I have judged so many others, and as it stands right now, your judgment would be harsh indeed. Go find Mami Tomoe, and listen to her- don't just read her... _listen_ to her. This... is the good deed you can do right now." The Yama's majestic presence vanished, leaving Satori with a feeling she was becoming especially familiar with, these past few days. She was alone, again, as she had wished. Now, though, she had to question...

"Is this what I really want?"

"Hey, sis, you've still got me." Koishi hugged her sister from out of nowhere. Satori welcomed the hug, but there was no warmth in that hug, no comfort. Koishi was just as likely to kick her to get her attention... there was no meaning in the gesture. and Satori found herself remembering instead the complexity and depth to the meaning of the hug Mami had given earlier. It was borne of Mami's insecurities and weakness, but also of her yearning for the exact sort of companionship Satori realized she herself lacked. A simple gesture made to comfort Mami, true, but also to comfort Satori.

And Satori had shoved it away... just because Mami hadn't known _why_ she was offering a hug? Koishi's arms still embraced Satori, but Koishi knew her motivations no more than Mami had. Yet Satori had welcomed the arms of her sister, while thrusting Mami's frail mind into Parsee's waiting maw...

Satori realized she had made a terrible mistake.


	6. Exploring Within and Outside

_**The Bridge that Nobody Crosses**_

Even as she approached the bridge, Satori began picking up on the jealous thoughts of the bridge's guardian. The whole world seemed to tinge slightly green, and Satori did her best to resist the overwhelming jealousy that the bridge princess emitted.

"Where is Mami Tomoe?" Satori said immediately. The sooner she got out of here, the better, and the less she had to look at Parsee's mind, the sooner Satori would recover.

_Well, if it isn't the little princess, strolling through her kingdom..._ "Out drinking with Yuugi."

"Thank you. Goodbye." Satori turned to leave.

_She really hates me that much, to leave so soon. Well, not like she does any work... must be nice._ "Yeah, good day and all that." Parsee's cheery voice well concealed her feelings... to anyone other than a satori...

Satori spun around, and accusing finger pointing at Parsee... "How _dare_ you?"

_Ah, there we go. Just like Mami... Easiest job in the world, and does nothing but mope around all day. _"What, you're not really going to complain about a 'good day', are you?

Satori nearly stared at Parsee, ready to respond to the insult with a duel of wills, but quickly caught herself and turned back around, away from the bridge. "I'm not; I have someone to save from drinking themselves to death. Enjoy your little bridge."

"Oh, I will..."_ more than you enjoy your priceless mansion and countless pets, I bet._ Parsee's smirk wasn't seen, but Satori knew she was wearing it... and nearly turned around to punish Parsee. If she hadn't had a much more pressing issue to deal with, she'd have loved nothing more. Today, though she managed to walk away from Parsee's parting words, gritting her teeth.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>The Streets of a Forgotten Hell<strong>_

Satori loathed the city. The parties everyday were maddening. Oh, she got invitations to them on occasion, but after the first dozen times of reading the host's heart she had figured out that she wasn't ever truly welcome. After that, Satori had stopped making even customary appearances, replying instead by sending a pet as a representative. They seemed to enjoy it, so she used the privilege as a sort of prize amongst her pets.

Of course, Satori was now being reminded of the _other_ reason that she didn't like the parties. Everyone was somewhere between tipsy and passed out drunk. Her own head started to spin, and she could tell that others thought (correctly) that she was quite drunk. Despite this, she managed to easily enough locate Yuugi, whose presence was rather dominating, even among oni. Her passing left an impression in the hearts of those nearby large enough that even hardly able to walk, Satori had no difficulty following it.

_Hey, izzat Satori?_ "Heeeeey!" Yuugi called out. It seemed Yuugi had drunk the competition under the table, as usual. Satori did a quick sweep of the area, but even the smooth motion defeated her balance and she struggled to keep her feet under herself

"Hah! Well, if you're done with the warmup, the marathon's ready for you!" _Looks like she's had a bit already, like usual._ Yuugi thought as she offered her sake dish.

Satori tried to steady herself, but decided on just sitting down. "I'm here for..."

"Yeah, the girl's from Chireiden, Parsee says. You want her back, then..." _This is perfect_. Yuugi looked to the drooling, passed out figure of Mami Tomoe on the ground. _Heh, she didn't last real long_.

"I can't afford to leave her here; she's not going to be able to survive another night like this..."

"Ah, come on, I cut her off after-"

"She downed five sake bottles, managed to keep three down, and drank another one to make up for it." Satori read from Yuugi's mind. "Well, that is impresshive, but she can't keep't up."

"Fine, fine. She even almost started to get cheery again near the end." _Well, it can't be helped. Hope she finds what she's looking for._

"I doubt it. Gotta... gotta get outta here, though." Satori said, and Yuugi tossed Mami Tomoe, making Satori catch the magical girl with her chest... a catch her legs weren't ready for, and the two tumbled to the ground.

_Well now, that's a sight._ Yuugi laughed at the pair, tangled up... Mami sleeping peacefully, and Satori flustered, trying to disentangle the cords connected to her third eye from Mami. Yuugi helped, and Satori's face flushed.

"We're... going now." Satori said, using a small spell to lift the Magical Girl's body... she then flew out the door, cargo in tow. Well, after two tries of hitting the wall instead.

"Must be someone special, to make Satori leave her den. Interesting." Yuugi said, taking another drink to continue following her fellow oni into a drunken stupor.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>Chiereiden's Great Hall<strong>_

Satori closed the doors as Mami was magically lifted into the room. Finally, Satori had managed to nearly sober up... though Mami was passed out drunk, her unconsciousness was a simple but effective barrier for protecting Satori's sobriety.

Well, until Mami regained groggy consciousness for a moment. Satori was unprepared, and was slammed into a drunken state almost immediately. Her concentration broken, Satori's spell released Mami, sending her toppling into Satori.

"Whu?" Mami looked around, her world spinning. She decided to stay put. It was nice and warm here... so much better than the floor she'd been sleeping on earlier. _So comfy._

"Off... please..." Satori gasped out. The collision had knocked the wind from her, and with her mind too clouded to stand, she just tried to roll over. She succeeded in rolling Mami onto the ground, and the Magical Girl muttered.

"So cold. Come back." And she wrapped her arms around Satori and hugged her. _So much better. You're nice and warm._

If Satori weren't sharing Mami's drunkenness, she'd have difficulty responding to that. As it was, she just returned the hug, feeling the warmth Mami felt intensify, warming Satori in turn.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>Satori's Room<strong>_

"So _that's_ how it is, Satori? You just vanished without saying a thing, then you come back, all cuddling with that... that _thing!_" Orin's accusing voice pierced Satori. She could tell from Orin's mind that she and Mami had been found in what looked like a very compromising position. Orin had strongly considered devouring Mami on the spot out of a jealous rage, but it appears she at least wished to hear Satori's excuse.

Satori considered lying, of spinning a tale to convince Orin that Mami had begged for sanctuary or something... but decided to simply tell the truth. She had to be honest to her pets, or how could she even think she was being honest with herself?

"Shikieiki met me... Mami Tomoe was sent here by the Yama in part to give me a companion."

"We're not good enough anymore, then? After all we've done for you?"

"That's not it! It's just... ever since... you know... Koishi..." Satori trailed off.

"What is it about her? Why can't you let her go? She's moved on! Why can't you?"  
><em>Why... why aren't we good enough?<em> Orin started sobbing slowly.

"You are good!" Satori emphatically stated. "But... you can never talk to me like Koishi could..."

"And this Mami can?" Orin was incredulous. "Is that it? Because even I can tell she's not a satori... even I can tell that she's not healthy for you to be around."_ Please, just say the word and you can be rid of her._ Orin's mind was begging. She felt genuine concern over Satori's well being, though unusually, there was a hint of jealousy motivating her as well. Subtle to be sure, but still there. Alongside the far more expected anticipation of a meal, but Satori hardly paid that any mind.

"No... but she's the first person apart from all of you that's showed me anything like affection... the first heart apart from an animal's or satori's I've heard that doesn't scream hate at me after a few minutes."

"Just... why aren't we enough, anymore?" Orin was trembling now... she wanted to be told that she was still loved, still needed... that she was irreplaceable.

"I do still love you all and need you all. I could never replace you, but... well, to you, I'm your master."

"Of course!" _And who could ask for a better one?_ Orin was nearly back to herself again... knowing just what Orin wanted to hear had its perks...

"And I enjoy the relationship as well. What Mami is offering me... what no one else has, is a new type of relationship... different from ours."

Orin listened, considering. _Well... If it's not going to interfere..._

"Of course it won't interfere. Please, don't hate her. Perhaps she and I won't be able to blend as Koishi and I did, but perhaps we can at least discuss things as something like equals."

"Well... but you'll know more than her, right?" _So... it wouldn't _really_ be equal, would it?_

"If I share all I learn with her... perhaps it will be close enough."

"Don't sound so down on yourself... I'm sure you can make it work, master." Orin turned into her cat form and nuzzled Satori's ankle. _If the Yama sent her for you, I suppose it would be rude not to try, right?_ Satori scratched right behind Orin's ears, before replying.

"Thank you, Orin. I'll do my best... please keep believing in me... I'm no longer certain I can believe in myself." Satori asked. Orin's simple reply helped Satori along. _You'll do fine._

* * *

><p>Mami felt like her body was falling apart. She was starving and dying of thirst... her head felt like someone was building a highway in it, and her limbs ached more than they ever had before. She was suddenly thankful of the distance her soul apparently had from her body. This pain was nearly incapacitating as it was, and that was just the hollow echo she felt...<p>

"Oh! Ouch. Don't wake so suddenly." Satori said, wincing not only at Mami's pain, but at the sound of her own voice in Mami's head... far louder than she'd been trying for.

"What happened...?" Mami asked as she rolled over in the candle's light, though it seemed a searing sun to her sensitive eyes.

"You did something no human would have survived."

"Huh? That explains the... everything." _The pain, anyway. What did I do...? I was... I was going to cross the bridge..._

"Yes, well, after Parsee defeated you at the bridge, Yuugi invited you over for a drinking party."

"That doesn't sound so... wait, drinking...?" _Like... alcohol? I'm not of age yet!_

Satori chuckled lightly, despite the pain they shared. "Oni don't care for such trivial things as age. They'll have a good party with whoever they want... just count yourself lucky... it seems fatal alcohol poisoning isn't quite final an experience to you as it is for most."

"Oh no... what if someone finds out?"

"I suspect if you told anyone back home that you literally drank yourself to death in a drinking contest against oni, that they'd think it was a real fine joke." Satori said while performing some magic... Mami wasn't sure what the satori was doing, but decided to let her anyway. _She's probably doing it to help me..._ Mami said something, as Satori's quiet chanting wasn't especially meaningful to her.

"I... Oh. I suppose, but... I still shouldn't have done it..." _I mean, who knows what I did while drunk?_ Satori's spell finished, and Mami's pain, aches, thirst, and hunger were suddenly gone, and she felt a wave of relief... not just her own, but Satori's as well. having finished the spell, Satori spoke up.

"Ah, much better. As for your drunkenness... Well, apart from some truly impressive vomiting, you apparently talked a lot and tended to get far too close for most people's comfort." Satori put her face immediately in front of Mami's. "Kind of like this."

They looked eachother in the eye for a while... a while that grew longer...

_What does she want...? Is she waiting for something... she must be waiting for something. Wow... I've never seen anyone with purple eyes before. They remind me of Madoka's... not just the color, but... they're so honest... so pure. What sort of person could hate her? are people really so bad?_

"It's not those eyes they hate..." Satori moved her third eye between their gazes, and Mami winced, unable to keep her thoughts from shifting, even as Satori focused her threefold gaze on the Magical Girl.

_It's not even looking at me... Or is it? It looks like it, but... no... it's looking through me._ Mami shuddered a bit as she continued trying to stare into the third eye. _What is she seeing with it? Me... she's seeing me... the real me..._ Mami tried to look into Satori's far more appealing and regular pair of eyes... but with the third eye there... _Did she look that smug before? That suspicious? I... what is she going to do to me? Wait, why am I here? I was going to go to the surface... I... I should go... she wanted me to go...  
><em>

Satori finally pulled away from Mami. "The mere presence of my third eye means that we can never be equals... we can't see eye to eye because... well, you don't have all three."

"Maybe you're right... Perhaps I... I really should go back to the surface..." Mami had tried time and time again... but even her optimism had limits.

"I'm sorry, but you can't." Satori's blunt response didn't especially help Mami's mood.

"You... what do you mean? You said I could-" _Go back to the surface... even go back home!_

"If you could move past Parsee, yes. You didn't... so you're stuck here, regardless. I suppose you could die and hope for the best, but-"

"I... Oh... Parsee... that was... that woman on the bridge, wasn't it?" Mami seemed to shrink in shame.

"Yes. Parsee Mizuhashi, who once guarded the bridge to the underground... who kept travelers safe... who helped flower many loving romances by calming the still pure waters beneath it..."

"That's not who was at the bridge, though..." _It was... a monster. It looked like a woman, but... it was a green eyed monster..._ Those green eyes burned in Mami's memory... She had lost herself in those eyes, and she doubted she'd ever forget that experience.

"And now you know how that guardian has changed its nature... and you recognize that she's a completely different person. Youkai simply don't change as humans do... it's entirely different for us."

"Why, though? What made her so... bitter?"

"Bitter? I'd been hoping you realized she wasn't."

"She kept talking about how terrible her life was... and how great she thought mine was..." _I... and then... and then I realized just how good _she_ had it..._

"Parsee manipulates and feeds on jealousy. First, she tried her normal method of feeding on the jealousy that another sparks within her. Then she realized that you were ripe for another method of attack..."

"Making... me feel jealous of her?" _Because.. I remember wanting her life so badly...wait... she started to seem really pleased with herself, then..._

"Exactly. She turned your heart to jealousy, then devoured it. I suspect your soul gem is dimmer, now?"

Mami pulled out the artifact and looked at it... as Satori predicted, it's normal yellow/gold glow was now more... well, it looked like it had been painted over, instead.

"That... that really doesn't look good." _It... looks... almost scarred._

"It may yet heal... it is a human soul, after all, even if it finds itself without a true body. They're known for their resilience. Indeed, you've already recovered a great deal."

"But... if it becomes corrupted like this-" _I'll... I'll become a monster._

"No.. That luster is gone from simple fatigue... there's little trace of the corruption you came here with. Though does it matter that much? Consider Parsee... she's not unhappy. She lives a life of jealousy, but she's adapted to it. Now she enjoys feeding off of emotions. Were you to change, you would enjoy your new existence, just as she does."

Mami felt like throwing up, though the last vestiges of a hangover had nothing to do with the feeling.

"I don't care if _I_ would enjoy it, Satori!" _I care that I would be harming others!_

"You've already gone through such a transformation, though... And you found a happiness, fragile though it was, in your new existence."

"You mean... when I became a Magical Girl?" Mami couldn't think of anything else she might mean.

"What else could I have meant? Even now, the old Mami is but a faint echo in your heart. You focused so hard on your new responsibilities as a Magical Girl that you let your old existence die. I suspect the Mami who had two living, loving parents... friends in school, a comfortable life... She would be appalled at the warrior you became."

"No... She-" Mami caught herself... "_I_ am proud of what I'm doing... what I've become."

"But you see only from your own current perspective, not that of your past. Had you never been in that car crash, your life would have gone in a very different direction. Surely you realize this."

"Well, yeah."

"Then why is it so hard for you to think that you could change again, and still enjoy your new existence?"

"When I became a Magical Girl, I became able to help people so much more..." _If I become a monster, though... I'd be betraying my values, not... not just changing them. I don't want to let others suffer... especially not by my hand._

"I see. It's not common to hear a human think like that. It was common enough among satori... we feel others pain, so of course we want to minimize the pain around us."

"But... that's just making sure you enjoy it... that _you_ don't feel the pain... you wouldn't minimize pain if you couldn't feel others', would you?" Mami was almost heartbroken that Satori didn't fully understand. _Not just humans... but youkai as well, then? The oni that made me drink for their party, Parsee, who scarred my soul for sustenance... Satori, who softens pain around her so she needn't feel it? Is... this what she was talking about? That that's why I've been trying to get convince other Magical Girls to work with me... that's why I've been fighting for others... so that I would have friends... so that I would be thanked... so I wouldn't be alone.  
><em>

Satori nodded... she hadn't even considered several of the whirling thoughts in Mami's mind, but they struck true... Satori hated suffering, because she shared that suffering... her motives were as selfish as Mami now realized her own were... Satori responded gently.

"You're right, on all counts. I've been trying to tell you for a while, but I suppose we all need to realize these things for ourselves... I'm ashamed I needed you to do it for me."

"Don't be... I wouldn't be where I was now, if not for you. I'd already have turned into a monster... or been eaten by one of your pets..." Mami shuddered again at the thought. _I owe you so much... I'm just happy I was able to repay the favor._ And Mami _was_ happy... Satori could feel it. And that selfless bit of happiness... that true altruism...

Well, it changed Satori... Just a little, but... her smirk became more of a smile...

"Shall we have some tea?"

"I'd like nothing more... well... unless you have cake, as well?" Mami couldn't help but ask. She was so used to cooking for herself she rarely indulged, but...

Satori laughed. "I certainly do. Come, this way."

_Author's Note: So, this is a fine place to end the fic. _

_Thing is, I didn't... I actually have a bit of a different ending in mind. 2 more chapters on this one are planned... that being said, if I were to write more chapters, they'd fall between this one and the next... they'd probably be a slice of life... if I had any confidence in my ability to write a slice of life fic. This is the closest I've gotten, which is fairly telling. If I feel up to the challenge, I might add on to this story more... I'd certainly like to expand on the relationships the undergrounders have with Satori and each other, but that's for later. For now, we're in the home stretch, so to speak. And feel free to ignore the events of the final two chapters if you prefer. I could see myself doing so._

_I'm kinda being selfish about not burning myself out, because I've got a buffer of sorts. Thing is, I really don't want to start posting the other big crossover between PMMM and Touhou I've been writing until this one is done, because the cosmology is radically different and I don't want people to conflate the two fics... it's going to be confusing enough without bringing this fic's metaphysics into the mess._


	7. The Weight of Judgement

_**The Great Hall of Chireiden, several weeks later.**_

"Impressive work, Mami. You're really coming into your own, now." Satori's compliment rang true. Mami Tomoe had proven herself a splendid student. She was now capable of most of the minor parlor tricks citizens of Gensokyo could use. Indeed, Satori suspected she was on the verge of managing flight. Very impressive for someone with no prior understanding of magic. Though, perhaps having her soul freed from it's body contributed to her prodigious learning.

"You must really mean that... thank you, master." Mami bowed her head thankfully. She was drained from focusing so much, but the thanks were heartfelt. _She wouldn't say it if she didn't mean it._

"You're done for today though, I think. Much more of this and you'd make _me_ fall over from your exhaustion. Perhaps you're ready to learn flight."

_Really?_ Mami's fatigue felt washed away by the surge of enthusiasm. To be able to fly... ever since she'd seen Satori do it (Though the youkai stopped whenever she saw Mami was around; she had declared herself uncomfortable at the idolization over what she considered a trivial ability), she'd wanted to fly, herself. "I'd like that very much."

Satori smiled warmly. "I know. But it would be dangerous to continue anymore for now. Rest up, and I'll meet you for dinner when you're finished."

"Oh, thank you." _I really need a shower..._ Mami absently thought as she left.

Satori chuckled quietly, and Mami shrugged it off as she kept going... they'd had this discussion before. Even though Satori had taught Mami how to directly clean away sweat, dirt, grime, and the like with magic, the Magical Girl had insisted on using the showers in one of the guest rooms (One of which she'd effectively claimed as her own) if she was too tired for that. It was far less efficient, but it seemed to give her a sense of familiarity. Considering how much her life had changed, Satori couldn't begrudge her holding on to what she could of her past.

And besides, water had some purifying properties, which proved helpful in keeping Mami's soul gem clear. That odd limit that had been put on Mami's magic was an annoyance, and while Mami spent some of her free time reading Satori's writings or talking with her host, an unfortunately large amount of it was spent purifying the soul gem in Utsuho's flame. She didn't enjoy it, of course, but she was willing to endure it... she still thought herself guilty for the deaths of Sayaka and Madoka, and the Yatagarasu's flame seemed as fitting a punishment as any, in her mind. As Satori had trained her, Mami seemed to be making more efficient use of her magic... Or she simply had more stored within her soul. Whatever the reason, the basic exercises that had once drained so much now left hardly a mark on her soul.

Satori's thoughts were interrupted by a rather annoyed, familiar voice...

"Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, what can I do for you?" Satori turned to her guest... no... her _guests_; it seemed the Yama had a vengeful spirit wrapped around her Rod of Remorse...

"Satori Komeiji, I need to speak with Mami Tomoe." _She has some explaining to do._

"She's showering right now... she should only be a few minutes... what's the matter?" Satori asked, the spirit around the Rod of Remorse thinking rather bitter thoughts. _I should have known... Mami was different. I wasn't... I wasn't able to be as good as her... I didn't heed her advice, and now I have nothing... _

"What's the- What's the _matter_?" Shikieiki was furious... it seemed someone had escaped... presumably that vengeful spirit right there.

"I assure you, none have left these halls before their appointed time. Not for lack of trying, mind."

"Then tell me why _she_ came to me to be judged, when my records clearly indicate I've already done so! Several times before, even!" The Yama shot the vengeful ghost a bitter gaze, but it kept on lamenting its failings. _Kyousuke left me, Hitomi betrayed me... I suppose they deserve a better friend than me, anyway._

"I couldn't tell you. She's not really the rebellious sort, though. And besides, if she _had_ wanted to escape... why in the world would she to go get judged, only to be sent right back here? She'd escape to the surface, wouldn't she? People don't really hold a fondness in their hearts for the hells, you know."

Shikieiki paused and considered this. _That... is odd. And her reflection in the mirror was odd, too._ The Yama recalled... it was as though her soul was split or something; it seemed as though she were watching several lives superimposed on eachother... and through it all, the glass was the foggiest she'd ever seen.

"Well, it seems your friend Mami knew her, so perhaps she knows what's going on here... and if she's guilty of something-"

"Then she probably doesn't realize it. Let's see..." Satori turned her eye on the spirit and addressed it directly, curious if it would notice at all.

"Sayaka Miki..."

The spirit turned towards Satori... _What? What was that?_ The spirit, unable to see as it was accustomed, quickly lost track of the faint voice it figured it must have imagined and continued to lament._ What was I even fighting for? People aren't worth saving... My life may be worthless, but that doesn't mean anyone else's is worth more..._

"Sayaka Miki..." Once again Satori repeated the spirit's name... This time, the spirit seemed to recall its last moments under that name... moments of utter despair, a meaningless existence. Of lashing out at the world around her, striking out against those she had once protected, hateful of their disrespect. _I was to be their savior! And none of them could understand... Not even Madoka... the world is corrupt... better off destroyed..._

Satori felt how the despair had turned to anger, how Sayaka's ideals had been betrayed by everyone around her... Only Mami... _Only Mami was different..._

_Oh, she has a visitor?_ Mami's thoughts preceded her into the room. She had changed out of her training clothes into a comfortable bathrobe, and her hair was wrapped up in a towel. "Pleasure to meet you Ma'am, I'm Mami Tomoe. Uh... please excuse my current attire." Mami bowed respectfully, deeply awed by the grace of the woman before her. The yama herself seemed pleased at the gesture.

_Well, at least someone has some good manners around here._ The Yama's thoughts were clearly directed towards the less than respectful satori standing beside her.

"And if I were mannerly, you'd call me out on betraying my nature, so enough out of you." Satori said to the Yama, who grinned simply in response.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Mami was looking between the two speakers, a little confused and nervous.

"I had thought her capable of responding to your greeting in kind, but it appears I was wrong. Mami Tomoe, meet the Yama of Paradise, Shikieiki."

Mami stood stunned. Images of a colossal man with tremendous horns melted down to... well, the almost girlish figure that stood in front of her. Yet, even though the Yama's stature wasn't far off from Mami's own, when the judge of the dead looked her in the eye, the young girl couldn't help but feel the enormous presence such a great being exuded. She felt as though she were even now being judged, and found wanting.

Mami looked to Satori for support, but the youkai wasn't standing quite as tall... even Mami's incredible teacher was cowed by the Yama's mere presence, though her pride wasn't going to let it show more than necessary.

"I... I... Ah... I..." Mami stuttered out as she prostrated herself, submitting to the Yama's will.

"Don't scare the poor girl. She's going to have enough stress already." Satori cast a spell... some sort of communication spell, if Mami didn't miss her guess.

"I am sorry to intrude on business like this. But it really is a serious manner. Mami Tomoe; what is your relation to Sayaka Miki?" The Yama demanded, her tone making it very clear that she would tolerate no deceptions.

"Sayaka...? She... I..."

"_**Speak!**_" The Yama commanded, making Satori wince a bit, and Mami said what she knew.

"I was... showing her the life of a Magical Girl. She... She had been chosen by... by Kyubey. So, I.. well... kind of started showing her the ropes, you know? What it meant... the dangers..."

The Yama's presence bore down on Mami, a lingering threat larger than the one that had ended the life the Magical Girl had once known... pressing her to continue.

"I did it for my own reasons, of course! I... I wanted someone to fight with! Someone... I wanted a friend. Sayaka Miki and Madoka Kaname... they were willing... but... but then I betrayed them... I died in front of them... They... they must have watched as I was... eaten." Tears spilled from Mami's eyes, but her gem remained pure... Satori felt a bit of pride for the poor girl; she'd come a long way if even recalling the trauma of her own 'death' didn't cause her strife. Yet something in her explanation caused Satori to feel uneasy... an untapped power echoed in that tale.

Still the Yama's presence loomed... that hadn't been the answer she wanted.

"I don't know any more! I woke up here after that! Please! I know I've done them wrong, but... can you forgive me?" Mami somehow managed to lift her gaze enough to look at the Yama as the judge's presence lifted itself off of Mami.

"That's not something you should be asking me." Shikieiki shook the Rod of Remorse, shaking the spirit off of it.

"What... what do you mean?" Mami, in her time here in the Hell of Blazing Fire, seemed to have forgotten it's purpose.

"Shikieiki, please. She needs the news broken easily."

"And I suppose you'll do it? Fine, Satori Komeiji. Show me you've changed. Tell her." The Yama's presence now bore down on Satori. The youkai squirmed under the scrutiny... this wasn't exactly what she'd been thinking. She'd been hoping Orin would...

"What is she talking about, Satori?" Mami asked her mentor.

"Ah, well, you see..." Satori tried to think of a good way to break the news, but with the blasted Yama breathing down her neck...

"I recently met Sayaka Miki, you see." Satori began to explain.

_She's alive? ! That's great! She... she probably didn't make the contract then... that's... well, a bit of a relief..._ Mami's thoughts were _not_ making this any easier.

"So have you, actually, though you can't really speak with each other." _What...? But... I haven't seen her since..._

"Perhaps introductions are in order. Mami Tomoe, meet Sayaka Miki... whose selfish despair tainted her soul with sin." Satori winced as she let out the last bit and gestured to the spirit that now hovered around Mami, confused, but feeling inexplicably comfortable as it did so.

"What? No, no... this is just a... a..." _Spirit..._ Mami's heart sank... _she doesn't mean.  
><em>

"Yes... she's dead. And you won't like this, but you know I'm going to tell you... you know _what_ I'm going to tell you, don't you?" Satori offered, as the Yama stood impassively.

"It's... It's my fault somehow, isn't it?"

"Just so. She tried to live up to the ideals you showed her... a fearless, selfless life of sacrifice... not the terrifying one of despair she had to endure."

"Sayaka... I'm... I'm so sorry..." Mami said to the spirit, which continued its litany of regret.

"She can't hear you Mami, but I've called a translator. She'll be here... now, it seems." Satori turned as the cat bound into the room before transforming back into its humanoid form.

"Oh! Hi!" Orin greeted Shikieiki, who returned a simple nod. "So where's... ah, must be this one." Orin looked to the ghost of Sayaka Miki and addressed it directly.

"Hey there. Wow, you're really down on yourself. Hey, you know Mami, too? Small world..."

Satori listened to the full conversation, but for the Yama and Mami, the experience was more like listening to half of a telephone conversation.

_How do you know Mami? Because... I've got some bad news._

"She's dead? Nah, not quite. I mean, she's in hell, but she's doing a lot better than you."

_What? No! How... -why- would she be sent to hell?_

"Apparently it's something of a training session. Actually, you're kind of odd..." Orin looked to her master curiously as she asked a simple question.

"So... what... are we supposed to be talking about?" Orin's question elicited nothing more than a shrug from Satori, who looked over to the Yama... who finally replied.

"Sayaka Miki was judged and sent to this hell before. Many times, it seems. I'm trying to find out the cause of this discrepancy, as it doesn't seem she ever truly escaped." Orin began questioning the spirit, but Satori revealed something she'd noticed.

"I'm quite sure that part of the issue is that she's..." Satori paused a moment, contemplating the right wording before continuing. "She's like Mami." Satori said. Mami wasn't sure what she meant... but looking around, she knew she wasn't alone in that. Sensing their confusion, she clarified.

"Mami, your spirit is several decades old... perhaps nearly a century. Yet, as I'm sure you know, you have less than fifteen years of memory. Sayaka Miki is much the same... this spirit's been... improperly reincarnated, perhaps? I'm not entirely sure."

"You're saying I'm nearly 100 years old?" Mami was struck with disbelief.

"No... and yes. I don't know how much it has to do with you, Mami, but with Sayaka's arrival, it has become something you should know." Satori explained, and the Yama nodded quietly in agreement before adding a few thoughts.

"You _have_ come quite a ways, Satori. I should share my thoughts as well." Shikieiki stated, nearly cut off by Satori, causing the Yama to doubt the statement she had just made.

"Allow me. You're thinking that time manipulation is involved, somehow. Apparently the vampire's maid has a similar sort of haze when viewed with your mirror, and she's skilled with that sort of magic. While I'm not especially comfortable with you bringing her down here for comparison, if you must, then you must."

"You may have changed, but you're still a satori, I suppose." The Yama's face was clearly annoyed, yet Satori saw that she understood Satori's statement quite clearly.

"So it seems. I'll be prepared for their arrival." Satori said, and the Yama vanished.

"That... that was really the Yama?"

"Do you have any doubt?"

"I... suppose not. If anyone's the Yama, it would be her."

"She does have a bit of a presence, doesn't she? It isn't quite proper to refer to her as _the_ Yama... she merely presides over the realms of illusion, paradise, and fantasy. I have met her superiors, and it is not an experience I ever wish to repeat."

"I can't even imagine what it must be like to meet them..." Mami said, and her heart supported her statement.

"It's impossible to describe... I was nearly crushed under their wills."

"I... I won't have to meet them, will I?"

"Oh, goodness, no. Well, probably not. If your existence threatens the cosmic cycle, you might draw their attention, but a little thing like time manipulation in a world like ours is below them. They've other worlds to watch, after all."

"They do? There really are other worlds out there?"

Satori nodded. "I know little more than that, but Earth is not alone."

Orin was still chatting quietly with the spirit as Mami indicated them. "So... what are they talking about, anyway?"

"Oh, Orin's just getting Sayaka to recount past days of glory. It seems her time as a Magical Girl was short indeed. She turned into a youkai of despair, as you almost had weeks ago, and... Kyouko killed her? Ah, a spear using magical girl in red. It seems their personalities clashed... the fatal fight was not the first they'd fought, and Sayaka is unsure of Kyouko's fate."

Mami could hardly believe it. Kyouko had returned to Mitakihara? And she fought Sayaka... Sayaka had become a witch... oh, no... then.. what of Madoka... _but wait, if Kyouko isn't here, she must have survived!_ Mami's head spun.

"I doubt it. The conflict seemed rather heated, and this is but one of many hells. From what you know of this 'Kyouko', I wouldn't be even a little surprised if she were in a comparable hell elsewhere. She seemed to have precious little regard for human life, and while that's accepted and even encouraged among youkai... it's not exactly a virtue for humans."

"But it's not her fault!" _Her father, he-_

"The world _is_ fair. She will be punished exactly as much as she needs to be to free her soul of sin, then she will be released to the Netherworld to reincarnate."

"You... you would know, I suppose. Do you mind if I take some time to myself...? I... I need to think all this over." Mami gently pleaded.

"I do mind. Your heart is troubled... far more than you realize. If you ruminate on this alone, you're rather likely to once again try and take your life."

"N... no. Don't... don't say things like that." As much as she denied it, though, Satori's words rang with that by now far too familiar tone of truth.

"I say things how they are. Sayaka's fate_ is_ partially your fault, but ultimately her decisions were her own, and Kyouko shares no small blame in influencing them, herself. You all made your choices. You couldn't have known how things would turn out. Even if you did, mutable as human nature may be, it can also be quite resistant to change. You may not have been able to alter her course."

Mami simply stood and looked at the ground, ashamed.

"Orin, would you mind preparing the place for a few more guests? I expect the vampire will accompany her maid, and the mage of the mansion may be in attendance as well. Best to prepare another two, in case they decide to bring anyone else."

"Okay!" Orin said, and walked off, still chatting with Sayaka's spirit. "And she actually _confessed_ to him? One day wasn't nearly enough time for you to prepare, especially with..." Her words faded into the distance. Now Satori needed something to draw Mami out from her ruminations, and she just happened to have a fine distraction ready.

"Now, Mami... perhaps you'll feel better once you too can fly. It may become expected of you, so it's only proper to teach you."

The magical girl's eyes lit up, concerns of what had happened still lingering in her mind, but with the prospect of true flight simply too tempting to ignore.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: I almost wonder if I should make this chapter and the next (final) chapter a separate story, since they're kind of a different focus. I don't know.<em>


	8. The End

_**The Great Hall of Chireiden, days later.**_

"Is anyone going to tell me what this is all about?" A loud shout entered the chamber shortly before its owner, a small girl in a pink dress at first glance. Satori recognized the vampire's true nature immediately... this was Remilia Scarlet... a surface youkai of immense power. Following closely behind her was a platinum-haired woman in a maid's outfit... Sakuya Izayoi... the one who had actually been summoned.

"Yes. And don't worry, it doesn't concern you." Satori calmly explained. The Yama silently nodded in agreement, committed to remaining out of the conversation, lest she influence it. She wished to further observe Satori's progress, if any. Mami was nearby if her presence proved necessary, but had been advised to stay out of the entry hall while the meeting was in progress if possible. Vampires were dangerous creatures, and as an outsider, Mami wasn't protected by the contract Remilia had made with the surface humans.

"What concerns my servants concerns me as well." _The nerve! Calling Sakuya and ignoring me!_

"Perhaps I should say you should _hope_ it doesn't concern you. If you _are_ responsible for the sort of thing we're investigating, there won't even be fragments left of your soul when your punishment is completed." Satori's words incensed the vampire, who was about to shout out. Even before Satori could interrupt her, however, her own servant did.

"Mistress, please restrain yourself. We've done nothing they don't already know about. She's just trying to get under your skin." Sakuya mollified her master... _And it's working._

"I hardly need to try, really. Sakuya Izayoi, you were called here merely to show me how one might use your power to extend your life. The Yama has heard of your talents, and your history is... odd."

The maid looked a bit nervous and confused, but shrugged it off before speaking. "Very well. First, a demonstration is probably in order, then." She produced a hairband of the sort Satori wore. Satori was completely overwhelmed at the sudden surge of memories that assaulted her. Memories of the maid walking through her halls, looking in several dozen rooms before finally stumbling across Satori's own. Searching each of the dressers in each of these rooms until she found Satori's spare clothes... deciding that a hairband would be a good enough proof of concept, taking it, wandering lost for quite a time, and eventually finding her way back to the entrance chamber.

Sakuya had experienced nearly three hours of time, and had just as much time to make sense of what she was doing. Satori had a mere fraction of a second to process it all. Sakuya stood as calm and elegant as ever. Satori clutched her throbbing head and screamed.

"I don't think she much enjoyed your trick, Sakuya." Remilia laughed over Satori's screams for some time and ignoring the Yama's baleful glare, only to be interrupted by Mami, who had rushed into the room.

"What did you do to her?"

"What she asked, and nothing more." The maid replied, still rather confused, but grinning alongside her mistress nonetheless.

"She didn't ask to have her suffering mocked!" The magical girl moved up to Satori, concerned. "Are you alright? Shh... calm down... everything's alright... What are _you_ looking at?" This last was directed to Remilia, whose unblinking gaze was fixed on Mami. Several seconds passed, and Satori's screams changed slowly into short sobs as the headache began to recede. The whole time, Remilia never stopped watching Mami, though she did silently approach... then circle around Satori and Mami.

"I said, what do you think you're looking at!" Mami repeated herself, though fear crept into her voice.

"If I knew that, I suspect I'd have the answer the Yama seeks. What _are_ you? Looking at you is like staring into a crowd. Your fate bears more weight than does the entire human village." The vampire spoke with a distant gaze, as though she were looking far past Mami. "With a destiny like that, you could change the world... destroy and rebuild it..."

Mami couldn't break eye contact... she could only gaze into the vampire's eyes as they gazed back, looking through Mami at... _something_ as she continued to speak.

"Yet, your own fate is but a pale shadow, eclipsed and bound to another's... a blazing star to your candlelight... name your friends, girl."

Unable to do anything else, Mami complied... it wasn't a very long list. "Satori Komeiji, Sayaka Miki, Madoka Kaname" While the vampire showed rolled her eyes at the mention of Satori's name and reacted little to Sayaka's, she broke eye contact and fell to the floor as Madoka's name was uttered. She quivered like the small child she appeared to be... Sakuya rushed to comfort her, and Remilia didn't even move as she was embraced, clutching her legs on the ground and cowering.

Mami was confused, and turned to Satori, whose sobs had silenced. Instead of being calm, though, Mami now noticed that Satori shared the same spooked expression Remilia wore.

"What...? What is it?" Mami was confused and worried. What about herself _was_ so special? What of Madoka? Mami turned to the Yama, that being of awe-inspiring presence, that rock solid foundation of law and certainty... only to see that expression of dread mirrored yet again. She looked to Sakuya, who bore Mami's own confusion and they looked at each other, extremely confused as they comforted their respective allies.

"That is a very, very good question."

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>Chireiden's Dining Hall, Soon Thereafter<br>**_

"My apologies to you both, Mami, Sakuya. It seems your human spirits weren't able to feel that. I only felt it through Remilia, she only felt it because of her power over fate, and the Yama herself is simply tapped into the lifeline of the universe, so to speak."

"What happened, though? I just said the names of my friends... Sayaka and Mad-"

"_Do __**not**__ say her name!_" Remilia, Satori, and Eiki Shiki all shouted at once, that frightened expression peeking through their otherwise composed masks. Sakuya might have objected as well on behalf of her master, but she was off busying herself with cleaning, sensing she wouldn't be needed.

"Why, though?"

"Remilia has the right of it. Your friend carries a cosmic destiny, enough to literally destroy reality itself. Not merely everything within it, but the very basis of reality. If she so desired... if she had some outlet to channel her power, there's _nothing_ she couldn't do. She could change everything so that ice sinks in water, air is a solid, and the universe really _did_ revolve around Earth."

"What are you talking about with an outlet? What sort of outlet?" Mami understood the gravity of the situation now, but wasn't sure what might serve as such a trigger.

"Myself, for example. If I met her, I could cut reality itself just by gripping her fate strands and pulling properly. I could perform miracles just by being in her presence. Truthfully, even with your own fate I could make the sun a dead star while life on Earth continued none the wiser." Remilia shrugged as she spoke. "And no, I'm not fool enough to actually -do- that."

"Not while The Yama's here, anyway." Satori added.

"That's what I meant, yes." Remilia rolled her eyes as she continued. "Thankfully, I've yet to meet another with anything like my ability, and given enough time, perhaps her destiny will unravel. It isn't uncommon for a fate to flare up for a short time... a small window of opportunity when even a nobody can alter the flow of the world. In this case, she had that ability already, and this is her hour.""

"Say, could you grant wishes with my destiny then? You'd be just like Kyubey then, wouldn't you?"

"Who is Kyubey?" Remilia asked, before noticing that Satori had frozen in place. "Ah, of course you'd know as well. Well, either of you can reply."

"Contact Yukari this instant!" Satori shrieked, snapping out of her stupor.

"What? Why?" The Yama asked, even as she began casting a spell to do just that. When Satori reacted like that, she had a very good reason to.

"Mami just _said_ why! Kyubey can grant wishes! If he offers _that_ girl a contract for a wish-"

"What do you _want,_ Eiki? If you're calling in _that_ favor, it must be desperate indeed." A young woman with a parasol stepped out of a truly bizarre distortion of reality. Mami saw a multitude of eyes within it before the hole itself seemed to wink shut as a Kitsune followed the woman out.

Satori answered her, speaking so quickly it was a wonder the newcomer (doubtless the Yukari the Yama had just mentioned) understood her. "Do what you must to stop someone in Mitakihara city from forming a contract with the being known as Kyubey. That person's name is..." Satori gave a brief moment to allow herself and the others to brace against the name, knowing that declaring it as part of such a weighty agreement would only make it even more powerful. "Madoka Kaname."

Once again, the name seemed to send shivers down the spines of everyone present. Even Mami felt it this time... as though Madoka's name echoed not only off the halls of the room, but throughout her own very being. Yukari was properly spooked as she replied.

"You know what, Eiki, you can consider it a freebie; I don't want to owe you for telling me this. I'll see to it. Now, I'm off...every moment counts. _Something's_ happening in Mitakihara even as we speak..." The strange woman said before diving through another distortion like that she had arrived in, which she had opened as though prying open a door while she spoke. Once again, the Kitsune quietly and obediently followed her, and the strange warping of space once again closed.

"Yukari knows of what you speak. She's had little experience with Magical Girls and Kyubey. She knows a few things, but makes it a point to keep away from them, partially for fear she'd be seen as a witch." Satori explained to the others. "In any case, she's aware enough of what needs to be done."

"What... what will she do?" Mami asked, though she feared she already knew the answer.

"Kill her, likely. That may be locally catastrophic, possibly destroying the city she's in, but _Her_ fate would unravel gently enough after death." Remilia explained. "She may also send her to meet my sister, though I'd hope she asks first. Flandre's quite good at making things disappear."

"I do not envy the Yama that judges her, though I suspect the task will fall to me, given my investigations into the whole affair." Eiki Shiki sighed as she rested her forehead on her hands. Satori turned to Mami, who was still in shock... Who... who could even think of killing Madoka?

"Mami, you know why this needs to be done. You felt the power that her mere name carries. You know that Kyubey isn't above taking advantage of people in desperate situations. Your wish was minor, but if your friend's wish is made under similar duress, the consequences would be far greater than Kyubey realizes." Satori's words may be as true as always, and only that deep bond of trust made her reconsider her position.

"You're right... I'd already given her up for dead, but... She's a bomb, isn't she? And Kyubey is the detonator..." two of Mami's closest living friends were dangers to the very world and people she had fought to protect... even the world she now lived in, it seemed. She was thankful she didn't need to be the one disarm that bomb, but all too aware that that is exactly what she would do if she had needed to.

"Yes. In Yukari's hands, it should turn out alright... But if something goes wrong... " Satori turned to Mami as she left the thought unspoken. "Whatever happens..." Satori's three eyes looked deep into Mami, revealing Satori's thoughts as clearly as if she'd spoken them. _Thank you. I've had family and pets, but never before a friend._

Mami nodded, knowing her thoughts would reach her mentor... _And thank you for showing me what I needed to see. I'll never forget all you've done for me._

Mami held her soul gem and hoped so hard that everything would turn out well as the rest of the room sat in ominous silence.

Then... everything...

...

..

.

* * *

><p><em>Author's notes: I decided to leave it vague whether this was the seriesmovie 1/2 timeline or some other, late timeline (Like the episode one prologue one). Since yes, it was clarified that Mami's Soul Gem was properly destroyed in the Charlotte fight in the penultimate timeline, and really, it wasn't particularly relevant to this story whether Homura reversed time (likely because of Yukari's actions against Madoka; perhaps manifesting as Walpurgisnacht or perhaps simply mucking about some other way), or the world was destroyed and remade from Madoka's wish. The general tone and such of the story shifts slightly depending, but I still feel its appropriate to end the story here._

_And if you want a happier interpretation, perhaps it was the pre-Madokami timeline... and perhaps Madoka let Mami and Satori remember each other as she let Homura remember herself._

_I wrote most of this well before there was a 3rd movie... heck, before there were even the first two, though I did revise some of it later.  
><em>

_So... the sudden end here was partially meant to get across what concerns me about multiple timelines (And alternate realities such as the pre-Madoka world); what happens to the ones that are 'rejected'? If they simply end, how tragic would it be for all the others in that timeline, who may have grown or experienced things in a positive way... only for it all to be wiped away by, for example, one obsessed young girl's fixation on a friend?_

_Dammit, Chrono Cross._

_Now, that out of the way, I do have another PMMM x Touhou fanfic that's going to have a much wider focus. I simply needed to get this all out because the cosmology of that fic's setting is... Very very different. It's in the Madokami-verse and much more deeply incorporates Touhou into its cosmology. I'll probably post some other fics I've got laying around before starting that one up to help seperate them, but I'm looking forward to it, and I hope all of you are as well.  
><em>

_Thank you everyone for reading._

__P.S. When naming this chapter, I deliberated long and hard over a single detail no one would probably think twice about; indeed, I suspect many will immediately check once they read this: "The End" or "The End." None of the other chapter titles have periods, and so adding one here would be like a nail in the coffin; a definite statement that this was all there could be. While leaving it without a period to me implies that the story continues, just as it did in the other chapters, whether or not I'll ever write it. Such a minor detail, and no one would likely have thought of it even once if I didn't mention it, and even if I had ended up going with a period, hardly any more would question the significance of it.  
><em>_

__Sometimes things -are- as they appear on the surface, but the world beneath can be even more exciting to explore.__


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